new look for the new year

thanks to Foreign Beauty i now have a fab layout for this blog.

the one before was way too dull (kulayan ko daw sabi ni abril) and the older one had too many things goin on so i had to look for something simple yet girly and of course has to be pink!

i hope you guys like it as much as i do.

happy new year everyone!

best christmas gift ever

a stork came by and dropped us a wonderful present.

my sister is having a baby!

the first apo in the family and we are all so excited.

ooohhhh i'm sooo gonna be the tita mommy that spoils!

i come bearing gifts

as of 3:50AM today, i'm officially done wrapping christmas presents for all family and friends. considering that i did some of my shopping late this afternoon, i have to pat myself on the back for finishing on time. and believe me, wrapping pressies for a huge extended family is not easy.

as always, we'll be spending christmas eve with my mom's side in bulacan and christmas day with my dad's in alabang.

i'm off to bed now as i have to be up early to go to work. i don't mind though as i'm already in that christmassy feeling. it is, after all, the most wonderful time of the year.

'tis the season

to forgive those who have caused us pain, no matter how hard it may be

to give and be generous not just to family and friends, but moreso to those who are in greater need

to see and remember the good in people

to look back at the happy times and forget the bad

they say that Christmas is for kids. i say it's time for us grown-ups to see Christmas the way a child does - a day of joy and thanksgiving. more than the presents and the noche buena feast, it is a day where people get together and celebrate as a family.

and though we lost two people this year, kuya pochie (cousin) in june and mama lily (aunt) this december, there is no need to be sad. their journey may have ended here but i know they're having a blast with the new one they have. though they are missed i know they're not very far away.

merry christmas everyone.

it's a blog world

i've been on sick leave the last 2 days (bad cold/cough plus i sound like some macho guy). normally, i wouldn't last a day doing nothing since, as most of you know, i don't really watch TV that much. plus, even if i wanted to watch, there wasn't anything nice on the tube and i've finished all my DVDs. i still don't sleep much so staying in bed was not an option.

but bored, i was not this time. i was oblivious to the time of the day. missy took most of my mornings. she's onl;y 10months old so she wants to play all the time. she smelled funny but i didn't mind. it was fun.

afternoons are naptime for the lil bitch so that left me with my ever trusted computer. it was blogtime for me. and i meant not just writing but reading other people's entries, both of strangers and friends, as well. it has become a habit for me once i go online.

call it whatever you see fit but i love reading them. it's my version of tele-novelas i guess. except of course, the ones i read are really happening and not just one writer's story.

blogging serves not just a medium for me to express my thoughts. it allows me to look at other people's lives and makes me want to appreciate more and complain less.

a means of escape you may say. but i don't see it any different from when we watch movies or read books.

it is life as it unfolds, a front row seat to one's journey. and while most are there to entertain and bring smiles to our faces, there are those where reality bit hard and still continued to inspire.

i write not to please. i read not to judge.

blogging is therapy for me and the best part is, it's FREE.

newest bitch in the house

everyone, meet missy - the ugly but uberly adorable pug.

my baby

Sony Cybershot Digital Camera

25 days to go and you'll be with mommy.

i know, i know! my first love (and still is on my wishlist) is a Canon EOS 400D. but when i saw this cam in pink, how can i resist???? it screams ME! it is sooo ME! it needs a mommy like me!

the only logical thing to do is for me to have her. and so i ordered and next month, she will be mine!.

ooohhhhh i can't wait!

is it January yet?

Furuta - best chocolate ever

i'm not a sweet tooth by nature. i'd choose savory food over desserts anytime. but once in a while i do have my cravings and when i do, i WON'T stop til i'm satisfied.

right now, my guilty pleasure is a pack of Petit Choco B&W by a Japanese company called Furuta Seika Co., Ltd.

i usually go for Swiss chocolates but this one hits the spot right on. it is the perfect marriage of the bittersweetness of dark chocolate and the richness of white. it's not too sweet and it melts perfectly in my mouth.

a friend just got back from HK and was sweet enough to bring me some. there's only one store in HK that i know of that sells them (a small japanese store near henessy) and i'm not sure they are available in manila so treats like these do not come often

i'm on my 10th piece and no, i'm not gonna share them. these are mine!

start of the rest day of her life

so my sister pau got married today. it was a short ceremony with a handful of guests capped with a simple lunch in makati.

on a previous entry i said i couldn't be happy for her unexpected news just yet.

today, however, as i looked at them, holding hands in the presence of close family and friends, i couldn't help but heave a sigh of approval. she has found her one true love. the one she will spend the rest of her life with. her happily ever after has begun.

so to you my lil sister, my wish is a lifetime of happiness, a marriage that would stand life's blows and a house filled with wonderful and adorable children.

i am happy for you. your courage inspires me. i love you.

32 years ago today

a fabulous lady was born.

she was blessed with a wonderful family and loyal friends.

she went to a reputable school and landed a mighty fine job.

she fell in love a few times. had her heart broken more than once. she's had the love of her life and have had her share of marriage proposals.

she has turned into a woman of character. one who will not be swayed by what society expects.

she is halfway through her journey called life and there is still a lot to learn and discover - places to go, things to accomplish, people to meet.

and though love has been elusive for her the last couple of years she knows she will have her happily ever after one day.

~~~ o0o ~~~

thanks for those who remembered.

youtube star marie digby

i first heard about Marie (pronounced ma-ree-yey) a few months back when gail showed me a video of her version of Rihanna's Umbrella on YouTube. for someone who doesn't even like the original, i was completly blown away.

she's just so fun to watch and her voice is simply amazing. more than an eye candy, her voice is effortless yet full of soul. she does mostly cover songs but her originals are at par with the industry.

do check out her website and see for yourself.

my personal favorites are stupid love, an original song which has a very upbeat vibe to it and Joan Osborne's One of Us

but the one that made me a fan is her take on Linkin Park's What I've Done.

she just recently signed up with Hollywood Records and her album is scheduled to come out in February 2008.

a mighty fine deal for a girl who, a few months back, was just singing her heart out in the comforts of her living room.

retail therapy

nothing beats a good old fashioned retail therapy to drive away negative energy. i figured since my birthday's comin up, i deserve to splurge a little.

i did mention that i needed a me time soon so yesterday, on my way home from work (yes, i was working on a holiday. talk about pathetic! dedication), i decided to call and make an appointment with my stylist.

i wanted to have my nails done but i had to go to another salon for that and i didn't have much time so i went shopping instead. after a good hour or so, i left the mall with a pair of decent jeans, a really nice maong mini skirt and two flirty tops. not bad huh?

and so, as i count the days til "the day", i don't feel that bad anymore. enough to make me go out and celebrate perhaps?

today in history

first, there was the oakwood mutiny

today, it was the manila peninsula

when will it stop?

i work in ayala ave. and i have witnessed more than my fair share of rallies during the last 3 years. frankly, incidents like these have become ridiculous, bordering on stupidity.

i'm no fan of GMA but i don't think she's that bad. in fact, i have come to admire her resilience and tenacity.

all i'm saying is, give her a chance. enough with all these oust-the-president drama.

if one wants to solve a problem, why be part of it?

pre birthday episode

i'm having one right now.

i know i SHOULD be excited.

but somehow i CAN'T make myself to be.

one more year, another notch to my existence. over 3 decades of my life have come to pass.

am i where i thought i would be ten years ago? have i made something of myself? but the more important question is, am i happy?

bootie call?

he did it again.

i was getting ready for bed when i noticed that i had a text message. it was from him and it was sent 2 hours ago.

it read, kape?

thinking it was too late to reply, i still did. asked him if he was in town and for how long.

his reply, punta ko dyan?

since it was already 2AM i called him instead just to make sure he really was in manila and to offer lunch instead.

he never answered.

he's done it again.

and i thought he'd have balls by now. what the fuck was that?!

work whore yet again

3 weeks of non-stop overtime work sure did take it's toll as i am now at home nursing a flu.

i haven't seen my friends in a looonng time, my nails are screaming for attention and my roots are beginning to show.

i desperately need a ME time soon! otherwise imma go nuts!

time sure does fly and before i even realize it, it's gonna be my birthday soon. as i told april, i'm not at all excited. i'm turning 32 for crying out loud! what's to be excited about? hehehe!

anyway, i'm off to bed now. i'm reading this really nice book, P.S. I Love You by Cecelia Ahern and i wanna finish it tonight.

it's back to work for me tomorrow and i am so NOT thrilled. hmn...maybe i can skip work again hehehehe!

in the company of REALLY GOOD FRIENDS

i had the best time last weekend.

since pam is leaving soon, we all decided that our monthly "date" be spent on the beach.

a good 3 hours drive from manila, Sabangan Beach is ideal for intimate weekend getaways. the cottages/bungalows were few so there weren't many people on the resort. each unit was built a few meters apart providing enough privacy for the guests. resort employees were very accommodating and the beach (with the exception of the coarse sand) was clear - clear enough that i actually went swimming (well, that plus the fact that i love meann to bits!).

but more than the beach, the food and the booze, it was a weekend spent with GOOD, GOOD FRIENDS. ayi, who, despite of what he's going through still manages to make us laugh with his usual witty remarks; meann who gives a damn but refuses to admit that she does, beyond the tough exterior, she is one of the most caring person i know and i miss her dearly; pam, whose determination and constant hunger for better opportunities is finally paying off; jacky, whose naivety and kind heart allows her to trust and see the good in people, i'm with her in her so-called quest for our shrek; dennis, whose smile simply lights up a room not to mention makes head turns, his passion to support kids with cancer is indeed admirable. it would've been perfect had mamu, shai and alexis been there as well.

they are simple people with simple joys. and i am glad to have them in my life. the friendship i have with them is one i will NEVER trade for anything. i have their backs as i know they have mine. they know when to listen and when to say the right things. they are part of the few who i'd want to be BOTH in my wedding and in my funeral.

and though we don't get to spend as much time together as we want, they are simply wonderful blessings which i will forever be grateful for.

out in the open

so the secret is out. while i was frolicking away, my sister finally told my parents that she's getting married.

the best part is that my parents like the bf and they have no apprehension so long as marriage is really what they want for all the right reasons.

he brings out the best in my sister. he makes her laugh. he encourages her to pray. my sister has turned into a completely different person - happy and positive. and from an older sister's point of view, that's all that matters.

so to you my dearest sister, congratulations. all the best to you and marlon. he better not make you cry or hell will freeze over. you can bet on that.

the jologs in me

yes, i have tons of jologs bones in my body and i ain't ashamed of saying so.

i am a certified PBB addict! i try to make it home early as often as i can just so i can catch it on TV!

i've seen almost all Aga Muhlach movies and i still get excited everytime.

i love squid balls. especially the ones being sold along Ayala Ave. yummmm!

i recently discovered that when it comes to beer, nothing beats red horse. it's cheap, tastes better and the best part, 2 bottles and i'm done!

i still have my Yves Dignadice scrapbook which i made when i was in 4th grade. i dunno why i keep it though. i just can't seem to part with it hahaha!

so there, love me or hate me. take your pick :D

crappy mood no more

yes, i have been a bitch the past couple of days and dan had been my sounding board. well, more like a punching bag hehehe. for that, he has earned his first mention in this blog.

just a brief intro, i met dan online a few years back and since then, we have been each other's rant partner.

so to you my friend, maraming salamat. we may fight a lot but i know we both mean well. inuman na!

==========

i met "the bf" this week. he seems nice. he doesn't talk much though. one thing's for sure, my sister looked happy.

imma have to wait and see.

my ears get tired too

i am deeply honored that people come to me to confide or simply rant. i have no problem with that. on the contrary, i love listening.

but there are times when i want to have my turn. i too have my episodes. and when i have them, i want someone who would listen without prejudice. someone who would shut up and hear me out. sadly, the numbers are quite few.

one thing i learned in life is that you can't expect everyone to treat you the way you treat them. those who rant and come to you in times of distress and desperation may not be there for you when you find yourself in the same pithole. it sucks when reality bites.

as in a movie, each plays a role. i just have to accept that mine is the one who listens.

i have this blog anyway. i have you to read and listen.

i'm getting married, please be happy for me

deep down i know i should. she seemed so sure and she said she's happy. but a big part of me was blanketed by sadness when she told me about her plans.

it was too soon. it was unexpected. i wanted to protect her. tell her she could be making the biggest mistake of her life. but i couldn't.

all my life, i've stood by her decisions, be it good or bad. she's a free spirit who does what she wants at all costs. she's had to deal with bad decisions and i didn't love her less.

a friend of mine once said, if there is one thing that a person should be selfish about, it's his/her own happiness. maybe my friend is right. and maybe that is why i won't stop her.

i want to understand, believe me i really do. i wanna share her happiness and be excited for her as every bride should be. but i still can't.

for days, i thought about the way i reacted. trying to find meaning in the way i feel. and every single time, i only arrive at one conclusion. i am the one being selfish. instead of being happy for her, all i could think of was that i was going to lose someone really dear to me to some guy i haven't even met.

it sucks i know. it's just that i wanna make sure she's doing it for the right reasons. when i know that she is, then i can be happy for her.

tell me, am i being a bitch in the one time i hope i'm not?

partying on josh's concert

josh groban arrived yesterday for his scheduled concert this week.

i won't be able to watch it though as money, obviously, didn't grow on trees. besides, it's my bestfriend's BIG 30 bday bash on the same date and i'm sooo lookin forward to it.

themed Mini Mad Mod 60's, it sure is gonna be one for the books. all guests are to come in 60's fashion so we're all playing dress-up. imma be wearing this really cute 60's mini dress with a mod make-up to match.

and though there's a slim chance that josh will have another concert here in the future, i don't mind. after all, it's not everyday that my bestfriend will turn 30.

Happy Birthday bitchsis!

welcome to the fab world of 30-something women! cheers!

happy sad

pam, a dear friend from my Chinabank days, just got her US VISA yesterday. this is what she's been workin hard for and i couldn't be happier.

among the group, i always knew she would go places. she dreams big, works hard and parties even harder. her nothing-can-stop-me attitude sure paid off as she's bound to leave some time in january.

she will be missed and i too am a bit sad. but i knew it was inevitable. it was just a matter of time. and it has come.

good luck to you pammy dearest. do take with you all the good times and leave the bad. it's time for you to start anew and i'm sure you're gonna do fine.

all my love and prayers are with you always.

the thing about GOOD relationships

is that there is no need to apologize. a simple nod or a hug will suffice and everything will be back to normal.

fights/misunderstandings, no matter how trivial or grave, as in any relationship, is normal. they spice up romance, jolt one to reality or simply stress a shortcoming.

some survive while others do not transcend.

mistakes do happen. and like everything else, how to deal with them is a matter of choice. some choose to forgive albeit not forgetting the lesson learned. some choose to forget and pretend that nothing happened. while others choose to let each mistake pile on top of the other, refusing to rise above it and allowing their relationships to dwindle and fall apart.

your life, your choice.

i choose to be the one that forgives. i have forgiven, i have moved on. and while it's true that the same mistakes are to made again, it doesn't matter.

my life. my choice.

thank heavens for babies

it's amazing how a single picture can change one's mood. even more amazing is the effect that babies have on everyone. in their presence, one can't help but smile.

with their cute lil hands and feet, chubby-pinky cheeks and their oh-so innocent smiles, they exude an aura of peace and simplicity. they live in a world where the biggest problem lies on trying to say a word or taking that very first step. where hugs and kisses make troubles go away. a world free of life's complexities and oftentimes subject to the envy of adults.

i chanced upon a picture of my inaanaks who happen to be twins. emil and emir are now 2 and they are simply adorable. they talk a lot using words only they can understand which makes it all the more fun listening and watching them play.

looking at them sure turned my sour mood to sweet and i can't wait to see them again this november as they turn 3.

a bitching to end the week

i'm mad...oooohhhh i's so friggin mad!

meaning well and giving constructive criticisms is one thing, being a self-righteous obnoxious jackass is another.

i know my faults. i know my shortcomings. no one asked for your advice as i'll go and ask myself if i find the need for one. there are better ways of getting your message across. how you did it (have been doing it) was not one of them.

you're my friend and i love you. just give me this day not to like you. maybe tomorrow we can be normal again. apologize even, for calling you a jackass. just not today.

hurray! hurray!

and so the countdown begins! Sex and the City : The Movie is scheduled to be released sometime in May 2008.

earlier rumors about Chris Noth aka Mr. Big not being in the cast proved to be wrong and i can't help but give a lil squeal. he is, after all, the main man of the show.

the ladies are back. fiercer and more fabulous than ever. if the movie is anything like the series, i'm sure it's gonna be a hit.

oooohhhh i can't wait!!!!

***photos courtesy of Sex and the City : The Movie (2008)

an odd ad

tagged "ANG MAMATAY NG DAHIL SA YO", Nike's ad campaign for Manny Pacquiao gives me both the chills and the creeps.

admittedly, the way it was presented is amazing, awesome even. and to have it weeks before a major fight, the timing was perfect. it was pure genius.

however, i can't help but think that it kinda sends a creepy, bordering on morbid message. but then again, it's just me.

go pacman!

things to be happy about

as a song goes, you've got to accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative so that's what i've been doing the past couply of days. my personal life took another dramatic episode. but instead of moping and sulkin, i learned that it's best to just look at the good.

so, here are things that i'm happy about:

after weeks of sucky turnover, i'm finally enjoying my new job. i feel like for the first time in years, i'm using what i learned in college and i'm so up for any challenge that may come my way.

i'm learning and i'm happy.

~~~~~~

pau's new car came today so it's time to enroll in driving school. she took me for a spin when i got home tonight and i must say, for a beginner, she drives better than some people i know.

we have yet to name her though. that's always crucial so we're gonna have to wait til she gets baptized. hahahaha.

~~~~~~

we're going home to bulacan this sunday for the annual town fiesta. i always get excited when we go back to my birthtown as i get to see my cousins who i grew up with. this year, it's gonna be extra special as kuya eugene is back and well on his way to recovery. we all have missed him so we can't wait.

~~~~~~

my sister and i have gone closer. she is my best friend as i am to her. and whatever drama that we're going through right now, i know we are each other's ally.

bring it on!

tickets for Avenue Q

i made ticket reservations last thursday and was supposed to pick them up the next day. however, since we were in the hospital til sunday, i failed to claim them hoping that i can still get tickets for the show on the 23rd.

so i called both ticketworld and Atlantis today and much to my utter disappointment, tickets are sold out on all the remaining shows. deng it!

all for the sake of beauty

since my sister had her upper lip waxed, she had been nagging me to do the same. she even volunteered to pay for the salon just so i can have them removed. personally, i don't think they're even that bad. i mean, i'm far from lookin like a man nor do i have the need to shave or anything. in fact, some even say it adds to one's sex appeal.

this afternoon, however, since she just got discharged from Asian Hospital (she had severe tummy ache thursday night so we had to rush her there), i figured i had to give in.

so, armed with Epilin, a lighter and a candle burner, i allowed my sister to have her way with my upper lip. i braced myself for what was expected of hot wax on skin and i was surprised that it wasn't so bad. in fact, we were laughing the entire time.

now, not only does my sister feel better, my upper lip is hair-free. what a weekend indeed.

sucky turnover

i was supposed to start with my new team last monday. but no! my former boss still wants to keep me for a few days more so i can make the proper turnover.

i have nothing against this. in fact, i have prepared the documents last week so transition would be a breeze. but what the heck am i going to do with damn documents if the person i was supposed to be turning them over to IS ALWAYS ABSENT! talk about irresponsibility!

now, i'm stuck doing my old job until he shows up for work.

patience was never my virtue ESPECIALLY when it comes to incompetent colleagues. whatever happened to work ethics????? grrrrrrrrr!!!!

Avenue Q

voted Best Musical in the 2004 Tony Awards, Avenue Q is a play where people and puppets share the stage. the story evolves around princeton, a college grad who went to New York in the hopes of making his dreams come true and the people who live in a neighborhood called Avenue Q.

i read about this musical thru bobby garcia's blog today and fell in love with it right away. i wanted to watch it so naturally, i went online to purchase tickets . however, since the venue is a bit small i found out that there are no more seats available on Ticketworld.

i'm keeping my fingers crossed that there will be seats left when i call Atlantis tomorrow (actually, i called tonight but it's past office hours hehehe!) as it only runs til the 23rd of Sept.

wish me luck!

bibidi-babadi-bu

ayi, pam, dennis and i watched Disney's Cinderella for Kids @ OnStage Greenbelt today.

the story is the same and the music, familiar. but Rep Children's Theater made it an interesting production as the audience became part of a few scenes. kids screamed and raised their hands when prince charming went around the theater asking lil girls to try on the glass slipper and when fairy godmother asked what the magic word was. everyone was singin bibidi-babadi-bu!.

a new take on a classic, Repertory Philippines version of the Disney animation is a must see for the kids and the kids at heart.

blogs ghosts of the past

i opened my old blog account today since i wanted to include the old entries in this website. since blogger is unable to import from another blog site, i had to go through each and transfer them one by one (unless of course, there is another way of doing it, which i didn't know about)

as i went from one entry to the next, i can't help but feel weird about it. it was my life in 2005 and boy, what a year it was.

-- had a boyfriend
-- fell in love (yeah, the falling in love part came in later hahaha!) -- fell in love with his kid
-- was confronted by the kid's mom
-- an ex got married (to someone who looked like me! hahaha!)
-- turned 30
-- found out the bf was cheating on me from the girl he was cheating on me with
-- broke up with the bf and never saw him again since

reading about the past brought back familiar feelings. while a bulk of what happened ended on a sad note, i no longer harbor such feelings.

but to say that i wasn't affected is an absolute hypocrisy. it was, after all, part of what made me the person i am today.

men...the need (or not) of them

here's what the quiz had to say...

You Don't Need a Man ... or Want One!

Generally, you're very happy being a single woman. And anyone who has a problem with that... well, that's there problem. Not that you wouldn't share your life with the almost perfect guy. You simply won't settle though. Your life is too good to share with some substandard man!

Do You Need a Man?

talk about self-prophecy! incidentally, i started reading Sexy, Sassy, Singularly Happy: The Savvy Girl’s Guide to Enjoying the Single Life. hahahaha!

hey don't get me wrong. i'm not brushing off men! i just wanna make sure that the next one doesn't turn out to be an ass like the last one.

blinded by love's sweet woes

love is blind goes one saying. another says something about it not being blind but that it just refuses to see. however which way one may see it, i don't get it. never had and never will. and i say that with utmost certainty.

it then comes naturally that i would say a thing or two whenever a friend falls into this shithole of a place. you know, that kind when you're so in love that even if everybody is asking what the heck are you doin, stop before it's too late, etc., you simply refuse to listen without batting an eyelash?

i mean, what's up with that??? i hate it when i see smart women turn into decripit individuals who always end up justifying whatever wrong their partners did. and not only that, they keep coming back for more.

the battered wife syndrome could very well be applied to such since abuse is not limited to that of the physical. anything that violates one's right as a human being no matter how trivial or small should never be tolerated.

it frustrates me when a friend is caught in this web. and no matter what us friends say or do, they still won't add up. coz in the end, it is their life. it is their choice. all we could do is pray and wait that they realize it before it gets too late.

window shopping (not!)

normally, i'm not a fan of mall sales. for one, i don't like crowded places plus i don't have the female genes of going from one shop to another just to browse or try on stuff.

april, on the other hand, is a self-confessed shopaholic. i stayed in her pad last night (read - we stayed up to the wee hours and woke up around noon) with the intention of going to the gym. but since we woke up late, we ended up going to the mall instead.

"let's just window shop", we both agreed. anyway, it's gonna be our "work-out" for the day. cardio in style hahaha!

of course in girl world, window shopping never happens. april wanted to look for oxford pumps and i needed to buy a pair of jeans.

so, what did we end up buying? a pair of jeans for me and fab fab wedge shoes each - mine, a metallic black, and hers a metallic silver just coz it matches her outfit!

whew! i wonder how much calories we burned with all that work out?

oh! and by the way, the vodka did kill some of the virus hahahaha!

under the weather

i've had colds the last couple of days and at the rate i'm goin', i may very well be in the verge of having a flu.

my nose and throat are still sore from constant sneezing (yes, even the softest kleenex can irritate huhuhuu) and my whole body feels as if i just had an entire day of workout.

that being said, you'd think i'd stay in and be done for the night. but no! i'm off to meet up with april for a weekend of cocktails and dvds at her pad.

it's the end of the week. it's the end of the month.
more importantly, i just got my paycheck.

so, before i start hearing christmas carols (i don't like 'em), runny nose and all, i'm headed out to have a fun time. all the while keepin my fingers crossed that all the alcohol would kill whatever virus i have.

happy weekend everyone!

Josh Groban tickets

so i called Ticketworld today (for the nth time) and much to my dismay, tickets are still not on sale.

bad news is that only 3,000 tickets will be sold. more bad news, it's gonna be the only show in Asia. and the worst news is, ticket prices are ridiculously high!

so now i'm thinkin, do i love him enough to spend 10K for 1 friggin show????

argh! if only money grew on trees!

career move

finally, the much awaited promotion was made official today.

woohoo! from this day on, i WILL NOT have to deal with my boss anymore!

cheers! cheers! i'm free!

3-day bum

today marks the first movable holiday mandated by Republic Act No. 9492.

while most people opted to go out of town or be somewhere else, for me, it meant catching up on sleep and just basically a chance to bum around.

dressed in my jammies and armed with a remote, a laptop, several DVDs and a good book, that is just what i did. and boy did i have a blast. well at least on the first 2 days.

now on my last day, anxiety is slowly creeping up on me. i suddenly realized i haven't been out of the house in 3 days! it's not that i don't mind being home, i mean, i love spending time with my parents. but i have to admit, i'm not built to just stay home and lay like brocolli.

being a weekend couch potato (minus the lazy boy and the chips), while fun to do once in a while, isn't something i'd wanna do often.

one good thing that came out of this though, i can't wait to go back to work tomorrow.

josh groban live in manila

i first saw josh in an episode of Ally McBeal and i've loved him eversince.

his voice is simply magical that everytime i hear or watch him sing i always end up with goosebumps.

to say i'm such a HUGE fan is an understatement. baduy and cheesy na, i don't care. i love him.

and you bet your asses imma watch that concert come october 18 at the PICC.

~~~~

8:52PM

called Ticketworld today and much to my dismay, tickets aren't on sale yet. grrrr!!!

the fuzz over a piece of doughnut

Krispy Kreme is finally in manila and people are lining up!

the branch at bonifacio heights was no different as we waited for our turn last night. kinda like how it was when Go Nuts Donuts came into town. i remember people going all the way to The Fort and waiting in line just to have a piece. even limiting sales to 1 box per person. these days however, sales aren't as high.

and as i bit into my fave melt-in-your-mouth original glazed, i thought, after all the fuss and ooohhss and aahhhs have died down, is it goin to be like the others? something that's so popular until a new one comes along?

imma just have to wait and see. for now, i'm just glad to have a new place where i can get my sugar fix.

small price to pay

tropical storm Chedeng hits Metro Manila

waist deep. that's how much water got inside our basement kitchen.

knee deep. that's how much water was on the streets on my way to work.

mile long. that's how terrible the traffic was on the road.

small inconveniences if they meant a few centimeters of water level increase in our major water reservoirs (Angat, Ipo and La Mesa dams).

our kitchen is a mess.
i was late for work.
my shoes are wet.

still, i have no right to complain.

on hobbies and passion

i've always loved talking to ayi. he makes sense. he doesn't judge. he listens. he does not give unsolicited advice. for years, he has been the designated dalai lama of the group. we go to him if we want to make sense out of anything. and the best part is, we listen.

this weekend however, it was my turn to listen. while pam, jacky, dennis and the rest of the new diving friends went to explore the open sea of anilao, ayi and i opted to just stay in the resort, a book each in hand - his, Warrior of the Light by Paulo Coelho, mine, Sophie Kinsella's Shopaholic Ties the Knot.

a good hour or so and a few pages later, he sat down and said "i feel sad as i still don't know what my passion is". this not a new topic for us as we had the exact same conversation 3 years ago. only then, his question was "do you think i'm passionate?" of course, that time, i knew where he was coming from. he and april were still together and anyone who knows april would agree that she epitomizes what passion is about.

now, three years later, he is in that place again. only this time, his reasons aren't the same. he wants something that can make a difference and not just a hobby to while away the time.

a hobby is one that you do for yourself. passion is when you use that hobby as a tool to help or make others aware and in doing so, gives you a certain satisfaction that no amount of money can buy. it is when you take that extra step in the hope that at least one person is touched.

it is when scuba divers go out and clean the reefs; when bikers ride for cancer patients; when fashionistas and models walk the ramp to raise funds for AIDS; when teachers see the first sentence a student writes; when writers influence the way their readers think or take them places they've never been to; when musicians sing their heart out to feed the hungry; when actors and film makers bring tears and laughter which, for a brief moment, make the audience forget about the everyday drama of their lives.

when hobbies affect and inspire not just you, it becomes passion.

towards the end of the conversation, we both agreed that while for some, passion comes oh so naturally, it may not be the same for the rest. it doesn't come with a deadline like reports and budget proposals. nor does it come with a blueprint or manuals on how to's.

it happens when one is ready and while still in pursuit of it, there is no need to beat yourself up.

if marriages are made in heaven

"Papa Jesus, pa-expedite naman po yung sa kanya" (arms pointing at me)

i almost fell off 5 flights of stairs laughing as soon as mye blurted those words.

but then, come to think of it, if marriages are indeed made in heaven, what's taking so long for mine to be made? are there still papers needed to be signed? release clearances to be accomplished? heck, did i even place an order or fill out a form?

not that i'm in any hurry or anything. it's just nice to know that somethin's brewing for me. and when it's finally complete, i'd have the perfect fit.

still, it won't hurt to say, "Papa Jesus, pa-expedite naman po yung sa akin".

6 weird things about me

april tagged me so here goes...

1. i don't eat mangoes. ripe mangoes to be exact. and i'm talkin about anything that has the slightest hint of ripe mango in it...cakes, ice creams, crepes, shakes, candies. if there's ripe mango in it, i ain't touchin it.

2. i love goin to the beach but i hate saltwater.

3. i eat slow...very slow...i don't think it's weird but my friends say otherwise

4. i can't talk when i'm texting nor can i entertain anyone else when i'm on the phone...one at a time please! but when it comes to work, i can multitask.

5. i'm the eldest of three but my mom still calls me her baby...argh!

lastly...and probably the weirdest and most embarassing, if i may add...

6. the first thing i do when i wake up...right before i get off my bed, i FART! and i'm not talkin about a "lady" fart, but more like the oh-my-god-i-can't-believe-that-came-from-me kind.

hahahha so much for makin a good impression huh?

i'm tagging monay, frodo, ate bing, pau, shawie and mike

if you can fake it, why not?

no, this isn't going to be about sex. sorry to disappoint. i'll save that for another entry.

this is one of those things that us women do if what we have just isn't what we want or if it needs a tad bit of help.

plastic surgery, liposuction, breast implants, nose jobs, face lifts, tattoos to name a few. not to get you excited, i didn't have any of those drastic moves. mine were all simple and very common.

faking it #1
being the chinita that i am, i wasn't blessed with to die-for lashes. imagine my excitement when eyelash extensions came to manila. i couldn't wait to have mine done.

so i did.

and boy, it was sooooo worth it!

faking it #2
since Topher, my stylist, is MIA once again, i had no choice but to look for another one. today, finally, i found him! his name is Dexter and he's my hair's new best friend! he gave me highlights and did a wonderful job with the cut.

so now, i not only have fake lashes, my hair color is fake as well.

what can i say? if you gotta, and you can, why not? right? all for the sake of fashion.

Sex and the City

lo and behold! the ladies are back!

and they're off to the big screen!

finally, a movie about my all time fave gals is in the making.

oooohhhh i can't wait to see it!!!

the blues no more

turns out i just needed a good old fashioned cry-a-thon.

so i did. i didn't go to work yesterday as i didn't wanna be around people (didn't want the bug to spread). i didn't even leave the house my room except when i had to pee or eat.

shit happens. yesterday was my turn.

and if i may borrow a few lines from the great B.B. King....

You've got to laugh a little
Cry a little
Until the clouds
Roll by a little
That's the story of
That's the glory of love

thanks to monay and april who tried their darnest best to cheer me up ;)

the blues

it's 4AM and i still can't sleep.

i'm having a terrible terrible case of the blues.

after a few tosses and turn, i decided to just get up and blog about it.

i am sad. no, i am very sad.

i guess it's one of those times when i realize that at 31, i am alone. and for the very first time in a long time, i felt it. but that's not even the reason why i feel sad. it's the thought that i will never find it in my heart to start believing that i can be happy with someone in my life again. that i could have what my mom and dad have.

it saddens me to know that as early as now, i feel like i have given up. it's not as if there isn't anyone out there. believe me, there have been oppotunities put to waste just because i wasn't interested enough. or maybe i was too scared and foolish to have let them slip. either way, i just can't bring myself to trust and have faith in men again.

what does that make me? a man hater? i hope not. as i know i don't hate them.

if only one could erase a memory. if only one can forget how painful it was. if only.

it is not the universe's job to protect us from getting hurt, i know that. if only it works that way.

if only. then i would be fine.

on obsessive, self-deprecating EXs

i'm on the 3rd season of the L Word and i just can't get over the first few episodes. well actually, i can't get over the idea that my used-to-be (emphasis on the USED TO BE) favorite character, Alice, played by Leisha Hailey, a once perky and happy, self-made writer/DJ in seasons 1 and 2, turned into an obsessive, doesn't-have-a-clue-that-her-ex-is-over-her, pathetic, self-destructive girl.

sure, she fell in love and her heart got broken. true, that it was her best friend turned lover who did that to her. but it's been half a year. get over it already! i'd like to think her character is smarter than that.

even the best fall down sometimes as a song goes. in matters of the heart, even the smartest of the smarts turn into self-deprecating individuals. sadly, that doesn't just happen on TV.

we go through that at least once in our lives i guess. blaming ourselves when things don't turn out the way we wanted them to be. i did too when i was young. i asked questions such as was i not good enough? was i not pretty enough? are my boobs not big enough? to name a few. silly, i know. but that time, i didn't think so.

of course now, lookin back, i wanna kick my self right in the ass! i mean, i should've known myself well enough to think otherwise.

as a wise man once told me, "it isn't always about you, you know?" and it's true. it doesn't have to be ALWAYS about ME.

and so, i learned when to give my head a good shake and tell myself "stop this foolishness you bitch!".

Life is too short. Live it.

Cyma after dark II

i have to say, it wasn't as fun as our visit last wednesday. while food was still great (we ordered 4 Saganakis!) and the cocktails simply wonderful, the music was B-A-D! i have nothing against reggae music but i think it wasn't the place for such. add to that the constant skipping of the cd which could be due to the fact the DJ was at his wits end tryin to mix. oh well, could be his first day at work.

so, after a good two hours, we decided to leave. but not before we try yet another array of alcoholic concoctions. flavors of the night being: Hurricane (same as Hard Rock's version), Electric Jam (like Hurricane, but instead of the grenadine, they used blue curacao) and Cosmopolitan (sady, a really disappointing take on my fave drink).

on the upside, i got to try their molten chocolate cake. served with vanilla ice cream and roasted chestnut sauce, it is by far the best dessert i've had in years. sinful, yes but definitely worth the extra calories. hehehhe! (april is so gonna kill me!)

way too cool a film to miss

in the age where entertainment options are unlimited, this movie kinda made growin up in the 80's not so bad. yes, i belong to a generation limited to what afternoon television offered in local channels. tv choices were few so i grew up watching every kid my age was watching.

that being said, TRANSFORMERS is way too cool a film to miss. seeing Optimus Prime beat the crap out of Megatron in 3D left everyone in awe. people were clapping. i did too. baduy na kung baduy!

the graphics were good. the story was simple - earth in danger from the Decepticons wanting the All Spark and the Autobots came to the rescue, with the help of course, of a teenage boy named Sam. there was humor in most scenes which i didn't mind but other hard core fanatics might find repulsive (doubt it though). however, not all robot characters were given enough exposure besides Optimus Prime, Megatron and Bumblebee.

bottomline, it's a film that people SHOULD see in theaters and not one of those which you can pass for a DVD copy.

and, while it's not Oscar material, it was simply brilliant.

Cyma after dark

april and i usually have margarita nights on wednesdays. a fave hangout is Cena in Greenbelt 2 where margarita is reallllyyy cheap and the ambiance ain't that bad.

last week, however, we decided to try something new. since my friend wanted to check out Cyma, a relatively new Greek resto/bar, also in Greenbelt 2, we ditched Cena for the week.

i have dined there once before and, being a Greek food lover myself, i loved their menu. their best-seller, pastisado(osso buco) - beef shank stew served over pasta is to die for.

another favorite, and i must say, crowd pleaser is Saganaki or flaming cheese served Opa! style. cheese freaks like moi will want more than one order of this deeee-lish appetizer!

while dining at Cyma is an entirely delightful experience, wait til the sun sets and the party music starts.

Cyma after dark is one helluva place for cocktail hours. the second floor was turned into a bar where people can chill and be with friends. the interior is simple and cozy. equipped with top of the line sound system and the DJ plays fab fab music.

add to that, an AWESOME and i mean really AWESOME and impressive cocktail menu. with over a hundred choices from shooters to beers to wine to vodka and tequila. name it, and i'm pretty sure they got it.

it may be a bit pricey compared to Cena or Masa's but it's W-O-R-T-H it!

personal faves are bikini (vodka, white rhum milk, sugar & lemon juice) and blue sex (midori, blue curacao, tequila & triple sec)

Cyma sure can make one scream Opa! and i can't wait to go back and try 98 other cocktail drinks on the list!

is it Friday yet?

10 Things

1. my stylist is MIA once again so i can't get a decent haircut.
2. i'm a certified DVD freak! i'm on the second season of The L Word and i have to say, i'm surprised i like the series. i love shane but i adore alice' character more. hmn...does that make me a lesbian??? hahahha my friends are so gonna freak out!
3. NO i'm not a lesbian.
4. i can't wait for season 4 of grey's anatomy
5. i'm back in the gym. thanks to april, i'm on my second week. woohoo!!!
6. april and i have a new fave cocktail place - Cyma in Greenbelt 2 (i'll make a separate entry just for this later)
7. i got to use my dream cam in one of our tagaytay trips. no, i have yet to buy one but my dear friend dennis let me use his.
8. i'm still waiting for my promotion as my boss talked to me about it last week
9. i'm sorta kinda slightly scared of it. what if i can't do the job? what if i don't get it???
10. it's 1 am and i'm still at work.

father's day weekend

i feel like i have so much to say but i can't seem to find the perfect words to do so. i need the perfect words as this weekend was that, PERFECT.

spent it with my whole family on a road trip to lian, batangas to attend to my cousin's funeral. i know, it's ironic that one of the happiest weekends of my life is the same weekend that my cousin was laid to rest.

as they say, it's the journey, not the destination that matters. and in this case, the journey was simply awesome.

it was the first time in a long time that my family got to spend an entire weekend away from the hustle of the metro. and while the drive took almost 4 hours, we all didn't mind.

we talked, we ate, had coffee @ starbucks, we laughed and reminisced. we had fun.

it was like those weekends when my dad would drive from laguna where we used to live, to go visit my lola in bulacan. i felt like a kid when my parents were the most awesome people in the world and both my siblings felt the same.

on the way back, we stopped by Leslie's to have a late lunch and the view was breathtaking. it just stopped raining and the sky was the perfect backdrop. we took pictures of course but i know we all felt that no camera can capture how happy we all are.

it's been almost 24 hours and i still have a hangover. and alcohol has nothing to do with it.

gotta love the weekend

all work and no play makes sushi a dull fish! and boy, that ain't pretty :D

it's a good thing i get to spend the weekend with dear old friends out in the quiet and peaceful, foggy hills of Tagaytay.

time to bring out the booze! woohooo!!!

workwhore!

it's half past 5 in the morning and i'm STILL at work!

my eyes are bloodshot. my fingers are nearly numb.

thanks to some idiot who can't seem to know how to make a simple SQL script!

blast from the past

i got an email saying that jon has a new baby.

NO, i didn't go around asking stuff about him.
NO, i don't care what goes on with his life.

YES, i know i'm not fooling anyone with that last statement.

i DO care.

memories long forgotten came flashin back.
all the pain, all the drama which i tried to erase suddenly resurfaced.

i DO care.

NOT the i still love him kinda care. not even the i wish he's miserable kind.

i just know i still DO.

and until i stop doin that, i know i'm in deep shit!

here come the rain

and the flooded streets of makati is proof that the season has started.

i have a terrible headache and i'm stuck in the office for fear of getting stuck even longer in traffic.

i don't mind though.

heck, after the worst summer of all, i welcome the rain.

American Idol : 6 - Finale

while this season's finale wasn't as strong as the ones before, Jordin's take on the final song showed everyone why she deserved to win.

This Is My Now, written by Scott Krippayne & Jeff Peabody which bested 19 other original songs, paved the way to Jordin's idol victory.

it was perfect. Jordin gave the kind of vibe Taylor did on the first few lines of Do I Make You Proud.

same goosebumps, same message.

different song, different person.

and what do u know? my fearless forecast came true.

~~~~~~~~

personal faves on the top 20 songs:
This Is My Now, One Night, You Never Gave Up on Me, If You Ask Me To, All The Love Your Heart Can Hold

i'm in love!

first time i laid eyes on him, i was in awe.

i knew we will make plenty of good memories together.

best of all, i know he won't leave me, not til i say so!

i want him! i gotta have him!

fairy godmother please, pretty please!

Canon EOS 400D

isn't he adorable?

Caylabne Bay Resort

yet another fun weekend on the beach.

this year's annual team building was held at Caylabne Bay Resort. a good 2-3hrs drive from manila (if you don't get lost that is!), the resort, located just a few minutes away from Puerto Azul, is a wonderful spot for huge company outings.

they have a vast array of water and land activities, including a paintball course.

fire trees lined the road towards the resort

hula hot hawaiian party was held just near the shore

everyone had a blast. it was a weekend of fun, free of stress and it's all about the booz!

beer....lots and lots of ice cold beer!

and of course, what's a party without lechon! yummeee!

the day activities were capped by a hawaiian dinner/dance party held on the beach, complete with leis and bonfire.

oh and by the way, i was voted hula hot momma for the night. beat that! hahahhaa!

American Idol : 6 - Melinda Goes Home

surprised? YES.

sad? NO!!!

while it's true that she has the best voice among the three, i have to say i was never a fan of Melinda and seeing her go this week kinda brought a smile on my face.

listening to her is one thing. watching her is another.

and i stand by what i said on my fearless forecast that adorable Jordin will be this year's idol.

For Mama

the most wonderfully beautiful woman i have ever met

whose love shows no bound

who continues to inspire me every day. and makes me believe in the promise of a better tomorrow

you are more than my mother, you are my friend.

you have made inang proud, you have raised us well and for that i will forever be thankful.

you have stuck it out through the good and the bad and though i know there were times when you wanted to scream in utter frustration, you never did.

you are what moms are supposed to be. gentle and kind yet strong and driven. loving and patient yet able to stand up for herself.

i love you mama, happy mother's day.

American Chopper

yet another sleepless night for me but i didn't mind. i was, after all, watching one of my fave shows. American Chopper, for those who have yet to hear of the show, is about a garage turned bike shop called OCC (Orange County Choppers) which is regarded as one of the world’s premier builders of custom motorcycles and are known for their theme bikes.

i first learned of the show last year through my brother and i got hooked eversince. not because of the bikes that they make but because of the way they make them. plus the fact that the cast are totally hilarious. well, at least most of the time.

the cast includes founder Paul Sr. , his sons Paul Jr. and Mickey and Paul Jr.'s friend, my new eye candy, Vinnie.

he ain't buffed. he ain't clean cut. he's chubby. he's chunky. he's my new eye candy!

show airs on the Discovery Channel. you may wanna check your local cable stations for the airtimes.

Scammed?

a couple of my friends and i were havin drinks at cable car last night. they won a basketball game and wanted to have a short night cap.

we went out for a few mins to smoke (since we can't inside) when a fairly decent guy approached us and started blabbering about how his atm got stuck and he can't get cash. that he knows it's embarrassing to ask strangers for gas money but he just needed to go pick his wife up who apparently was in a taping for Sis .

so, after all the blah, i told him how much we can spare. that if it's just gas money he needed, it was ok. gave him a couple of hundreds and said we know shit happens. he wanted to get our number so he could pay us back but we said it was no biggie. after all, it was just gas money.

off he left in his pretty nice car. we went inside. if he was lying, then so be it. karma's a bitch. either way, it was an act of goodwill on our part.

then came one of the waiters. asked us if we knew who that guy was. told him we didn't. apparently, he is the hubby of an actress, a very popular actress. and that he is often seen around the area selling stuff just for a couple of hundred bucks.

oh well, like i said, either way, it was an act of goodwill on our part.

....

four sheep....five sheep....

sleep deprived

that's how i've been for the longest time! it's a good thing i'm one of those who never develops eyebags but that's the only upside to it.

no matter how early i go to bed, i ALWAYS end up tossing and turning til i finally doze off, which, is usually around 4 or 5 in the morning.

now, if i had a night job, that would be such a wonderful thing but no! i have a regular 9 to 5 job which means i have to be up before 7 or risk being late! what does that leave me? a good 3hrs of sleep at most! and i'm talkin 5-6 days a week!i'm actually surprised that i (bite my tongue) haven't had a meltdown.

according to the National Sleep Foundation people my age should sleep at least 7 hrs.

7 hours? i didn't even make it halfway! i'm contemplating on taking melatonin since i read it helps but i am too freakin scared of possible side effects.

i'm not depressed. i'm not overworked. i go to the gym. i don't take caffeine after 6. i'm a chronic insomniac! deng it!

one sheep...two sheep...three sheep....

weekend on the beach

An almost perfect weekend at La Luz Resort in Laiya, Batangas.
Considering the events of the week before, i say, we all had fun.

the sand

the cabana

the beach

the sunset

my greatest fear in life

last week, my bestfriend's lola died.
today, one friend lost her baby and another lost his dad.

if there is one thing i know i suck at, it is the way i deal with moments such as these. what do i say? what do i do? how does one deal with it really?

i know no amount of words or cards or flowers or hugs can ease their pain. so what does that leave me? what can a friend do? what can i do?

NOTHING

frustrating isn't it? on the one time you need to do something for someone you care for, you stand/sit still and do nothing because the truth is, there is really nothing one can do.

some say it's enough for you to be there. i say it's not.

my greatest fear in life is not to be unhappy. it's not to be unsuccessful nor poor nor rejected. it is not to be judged nor to be ignored nor to stay single.

my greatest fear in life is death. not my own, but of a loved one.

and everytime someone dear to me loses someone dear to them, my heart breaks into pieces.

not as excited anymore

tomorrow is supposed to be a day free of stress, worries, drama and anything negative.

we've done our shopping, prepared the food, bought new slippers and swimsuit, had the car checked, and every possible preparation there is for a weekend of fun in the beach.

sadly, due to circumstances beyond our control, the excitement over this much awaited weekend was extremely dampened.

but...
we are still going to the beach.
we are still going to chill.
we may still get drunk.

this much i know, it won't be as much fun.

'Nuff with the drama. On with the fun!

the past couple of weeks have been quite stressful.

overtime work up to the wee hours of the morning, not to mention on weekends; bad terrible case of insomnia; add to that the emotional drama in my personal life.

to top it all off, i've been barking like a dog the last couple of days with the added bonus of the extreme heat in the metro!

sheesh! i NEED A BREAK!!!! and KitKat ain't gonna do it for me :)

an out of town trip is in order!!!

so, this weekend, i'm off to the beach with my posses!

gotta soak
    gotta chill
        gotta get drunk

and I can't wait!

Pearl the Landlord

i gotta say, this clip of will farrel with a lil kid posing as the landlord sure made my day!

A Sad Day

one of the most important person in my life failed me.

i'm not mad, i can't get mad. that's how much i love and respect him

what do you do when the one person you've looked up to most of your life disappoints you for the first time?

what do you do when your pillar of strength and truth and everything that is right does something to hurt not just you but the ones dearest to you?

this is all new to me

i'm lost.

and no amount of bling or wine or vodka can make me feel otherwise.

American Idol : 6 - Finally!!!!

Sanjaya's stint ended today! And i couldn't be any happier!

I know a lot of the so-called Fanjayas in the world are sad but i'm sure they weren't surprised. It's been long overdue. The hair and the antics just weren't enough this week.

However, that being said, i'm still not wowed by this year's batch. It's just not the same. While it's true that there is more variety in this year's competition, past idol contestants were better than most of the finalists today.

I still have high hopes for Jordin and Blake though.
As for Melinda, i was grinning from ear to ear when Simon made that comment about her acting surprised each time a complement is given. Sheesh! I mean, how many praises does she need to actually believe that yes, she can sing and she sings well?!

Yes, I'm weak!

Diamonds are forever,
Sparkling round my little finger.
Unlike men, the diamonds linger;
Men are mere mortals who
Are not worth going to your grave for

So, my jeweler came in today. Despite my desperate cry, she opened her bag of goodies! Lo and behold, my eyes twinkled at the site of her new collection.

Before i knew it, she was taking them out of her lil box and slowly putting them on my ears! With a mirror in one hand, she told me how beautiful they looked on me. Heck! They did look good on me! And the matching ring was to die for!

What can i do? I'm a girl! I'm weak!

And i have a new set of diamonds!

Woohoo!!

Diamonds are forever, forever, forever.
Forever and ever

_____________________________________
Lyrics taken from Shirley Bassey's Diamonds are Forever

The Greatest Victory of All

When you hate someone, you give them power over you.

Life is too short to spend it hating somebody. Plot your revenge then put it in the back burner until an opportunity presents itself to annihilate the enemy.

Then enjoy your life on your own terms.

By the time your paths cross again, the people you hate will realize how pathetic their lives are compared to your magnificent one.

And all you'll feel is pity. And compassion.
They'll hate you for it and this gives you power over them.

The wheel turns.

But you no longer need that power. For you will be your own woman. On your own terms.

This is the greatest victory of all.

How can I

...forgive when there is no remorse?

...keep the ghost of my sordid past from the constant torture and taunting?

...end a chapter in my life without the proper closure?

...forget the hurt?

...trust and believe again when all my paradigms have shifted from what used to be true?

...start anew when the past is still holding me back?

i have tried. most days i succeed.
some days, i fail.

and even if the failures are so few, how come i feel they count more?

Green With Envy

I know! i know! it's never a sign of good character to be envious of anything or anyone! But what can i do???

For lack of anything to do, i figured since i got time in my hands, (what with the 5-day vacation) i'd go check on what's been happening to my peers. So there, I went online and checked on my friendster account. With the schedule i have, it's difficult to keep updated with the latest on my friends and the next best thing is to browse on their pages to touchbase with them.

Click. Click. Click.

Some had new babies, the others got married, travelled the world, moved to a different country, has come out of the closet, broken up, got back together, etc.

Click. Click. Click.

Then came the page of an old old friend. We haven't really talked in a long while and haven't seen each other in ages. Last year, she told me she was getting married. I wished her well. I saw the pictures and a short video. It was beautiful.

They got married at Waling-Waling Beach in Boracay. It was simple and intimate. Pictures/videos do speak a thousand words and my, they said a lot.

Normally, i don't get all weepy and emotional on weddings but something about the way they looked got to me. They were happy and the people around them felt the same. I never got to meet her husband but i knew their story.

More than the gown, the ring, the venue, i got envious of how in love they were. And that my childhood bestfriend has finally found her prince. A long way from pony tails and teen magazines, she has grown and lived what most girls only dream about.

I am happy for her. Envious, yes, as i have yet to find what she has found.

I know my time will come.

me, pau and bottomless margaritas

i've always been close to my sister but we had a falling out a couple of years back. she got crazily hooked on her new bike (yes, my sister is a biker chick! with biker friends to boot!) and i got involved in other things that we ended up spending more time with our own circle of friends rather than have our usual weekly rendezvous. and, while we didn't entirely drift apart, i have to admit (as i wrote in a previous entry), that i have missed my lil sister.

being able to touchbase with her is on top of my to-do list for 2007.
a long overdue margarita night to start off our weekly ritual is imperative.

and last night, we did.

in between margaritas, we talked for hours.
our plans. our mishaps in the past. the men in our lives, both present and past. our parents. the house that we bought. the car we're gonna buy this summer. the standing pact of taking care of each other as we grow old, not wanting to be like one of those who end up fighting over money and other trivialities that siblings tend to have.

i spent last night not with my sister, but with a friend and i'm glad we're back.

after the rain

the rain has stopped
the birds are out
a rainbow beams from a distance

and, though the ground is still wet,
i'm ready to go out and play again

Lesson Learned #2

Anything that is too much is not good and OVERthinking is NOT an exception.
For those who know me, i'm sure it's common knowledge that i tend to think too much. I've always lived by the rule of being not just 1 but 2 steps forward all the time. Firmly believing that no matter how careful one can be, there is always that probability that something bad will come out eventually.
In all my previous relationships, i have been guilty of this. I THINK TOO MUCH! And, while it has saved me a lot of tears and mishaps, there have been some instances where it backfired. Opportunities were lost and the list of my what if's and could've beens started to pile up.
Last night, i did it again! I've been talking to an old friend the past couple of days now and while i'm happy with the fact that after three years, we have once again reconnected, a part of me is a bit wary of seeing him. Being the way i am, i've created a whole bunch of nuisances to think about. Instead of lookin forward to it, I started to stress over stuff like, what if we feel the same way/what if we don't? or what if i feel the same and he doesn't and vice versa? Bottomline, i dreaded seeing him again!
And then I realized, what the hell am i doing pre-empting things and losing sleep over something that may or may not happen? I will have to do things differently this time. We lost each other before because we both thought too much when in fact it was so simple.
So now, imma take my sweet time and see where this goes. Nuff with the drama! I'm goin out with him this weekend and let's see what happens. Be it friendship or beyond, who knows? Either way, i'm just as glad to have him back.
Besides, as Jack Burton aptly put it, "You were not put upon this earth to get it!"

Capricciosa Ristorante @ Greenbelt 2

Capricciosa Ristorante, one of the latest addition at Greenbelt 3's wide array of restos proved to be a really nice place for people dining in groups.

The food:
They had the usual antipasti (appetizer), zuppe (soup), insalata (salad), pizze (pizza), spaghetti and gelato. For cheese lovers like me, a must try is their Quattro Formaggio pizza. The combination of 4 cheeses using blue cheese as the base was a very good complement to the soft and semi sweet pizza dough.

The pasta servings were huge but taste was not sacrificed. Nothing fancy with their version of Pesto but their Mushroom Spaghetti was to die for! Noodles were cooked to perfection and the tomato based sauce was infused with a generous portion of cheese. YUMMY!!!!!

The staff/service
We were waited on by Joker and Glyna and they were so nice. Yes, it took a while for our food to arrive but they were nice enough to check on us a few times until orders were served.

The price
It's not as expensive as other Italian restos as the servings were good for 3 or 4 people. However, you have to ask them if you're ordering too much or too little since you may not leave any room left for dessert.

The verdict
Capricciosa is a relatively new place which definitely left room for improvement. My expections were met as far as the quality of food they serve. However, since it is a new place, not a lot of people are familiar with their menu. It would've helped a lot if their menu had more illustrations. Eating is a feast for all senses and then next best thing to actually tasting it is seeing how it's gonna come out.

I'm a sucker for Italian food so I will definitely go back. I have yet to taste their wine so i'm lookin forward to that.

Because I Said So

In a desperate attempt te ensure that her youngest daughter doesn't end up like her, Daphne Wilder (Diane Keaton) decided to search for the perfect man for her.

But when Milly (Mandy Moore) found out that the Jason (Tom Everett Scott) and Johnny (Gabriel Macht) both came out of the personal ad that her mom made, she finally had to say something.

Because I Said So is a story of a mother's love that tries to answer questions like "Where does it begin and where does it end?". It is a film both the young and the old can appreciate. A mix of comedy and romance plus a heavy dose of reality sure make this film worth watching.

And yes, it may help one to understand why moms are the way they are sometimes.

Lesson Learned #1

"If you love someone, you say it right then, out loud. Otherwise, the moment just passes you by. "

- My Bestfriend's Wedding

I made the same mistake a couple of years back when i failed to acknowledge what i felt for this guy. His name is Gen - smart, funny and everything else i wanted for in a man. We had that kind of a connection which can never be replaced. One that happens only once in a person's life.

The catch, he had a gf. I waited for him to choose me over her but the time never came so i decided to let him go.

Last week, he called and for the first time, we got to talk about what really happened. What we both discovered came as a surprise, a big one. Turns out, while i was waiting for him to choose me over her, he was waiting for me to make him choose as he was ready to be with me. He thought I didn't feel the same so he kept quiet for fear of losing what we had. When i finally called it quits, all his fears were validated. That to me, it meant nothing. And so, he quietly bowed down.

If only someone said something.

He's back in my life now. For what reason, i have yet to discover

I did miss him. More than anything, i miss the friendship.

"It's time to make new memories," he said. But he still has a gf and the lessons in the past may come in handy this time around. For now, just knowing he's back will suffice.

It's never good to assume so now i'll be taking everything with a grain of salt.

I'm older.
I'm smarter.
I know what i deserve.