my greatest fear in life

last week, my bestfriend's lola died.
today, one friend lost her baby and another lost his dad.

if there is one thing i know i suck at, it is the way i deal with moments such as these. what do i say? what do i do? how does one deal with it really?

i know no amount of words or cards or flowers or hugs can ease their pain. so what does that leave me? what can a friend do? what can i do?

NOTHING

frustrating isn't it? on the one time you need to do something for someone you care for, you stand/sit still and do nothing because the truth is, there is really nothing one can do.

some say it's enough for you to be there. i say it's not.

my greatest fear in life is not to be unhappy. it's not to be unsuccessful nor poor nor rejected. it is not to be judged nor to be ignored nor to stay single.

my greatest fear in life is death. not my own, but of a loved one.

and everytime someone dear to me loses someone dear to them, my heart breaks into pieces.