Friday, April 27, 2007

my greatest fear in life

last week, my bestfriend's lola died.
today, one friend lost her baby and another lost his dad.

if there is one thing i know i suck at, it is the way i deal with moments such as these. what do i say? what do i do? how does one deal with it really?

i know no amount of words or cards or flowers or hugs can ease their pain. so what does that leave me? what can a friend do? what can i do?

NOTHING

frustrating isn't it? on the one time you need to do something for someone you care for, you stand/sit still and do nothing because the truth is, there is really nothing one can do.

some say it's enough for you to be there. i say it's not.

my greatest fear in life is not to be unhappy. it's not to be unsuccessful nor poor nor rejected. it is not to be judged nor to be ignored nor to stay single.

my greatest fear in life is death. not my own, but of a loved one.

and everytime someone dear to me loses someone dear to them, my heart breaks into pieces.

2 comments:

Jovan said...

I think that's the weird part of me. I've somehow accepted already that my loved ones will die, and so it doesn't affect me that much anymore. Maybe it's also because I'm convinced that I'm going to see them at the other side.

stoicsushi said...

wanna know what's even more weird? i've convinced myself that i'd be the one to die first. that way, i won't lose anyone. ang selfish no? hay, i just really am not good with it.

  © stoicsushi

Design by Emporium Digital