excitement and dread

in a little over a week, i will be going back to manila.

i'm excited to see friends and family. but not without an ounce of dread as i too will see him again. it's been a week since my last emo episode and i'd like to keep it that way.

on the upside, i will be back here after a week. so all is good.

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on a different note, i'm off to Timesquare to buy me a tripod for nikki (yes, i named my toy! deal with it!)

happy weekend everyone!

green is good

wheatgrass honey....my new favorite drink

cam fiddler

with the arrival of my new toy comes the birth of a new hobby which i think deserves it's own space in cyberworld.

come check out my photo blog

disclaimer: i'm nowhere near good. but i'm learning. :)

when girls get sad...they buy stuff

so i did. today. on a whim.

Nikon D3000

the crappy part of all these drama

is that i can't talk to you about it. you've asked me a million times but i just can't and it sucks.

tonight, when you asked if it was you, i almost said yes. but i can't. so i didn't. it's easier that way i think.

you're my bestfriend and i should be able to tell you stuff like these. that's what you're supposed to be doing. comforting me in times like these. but how can i when the problem is you? how can i tell you that everytime you're near i melt?

how can i tell you that when your heart breaks, my heart breaks into a million pieces more? how can i tell you that i need to stop loving you? tell me. how?

you should've stayed away. you shouldn't have gone back. now i'm a mess and i can't tell my bestfriend about it.

domestic diva in KL

unlike my last trip here in KL where we stayed at the Renaissance, this time we were fortunate enough to be booked in a serviced apartment. which meant, that we can cook and eat the food that we like. it's cheap and won't give you gas.
so today, we went to market. and i mean, a real wet market. my mom will be proud.

and then i cooked a decent lunch for me and my roomies to share.



torta and mixed veggies with basmati rice
cooking relaxes me. that plus the fact that i like it when people like what i cook. so yes, i am a domestic diva in KL as i was in Melbourne
just don't tell my mom.

reset

that's what i said. all i needed was a reset.

but at the rate i'm going, the reset becomes more like a pause. a pause that as soon as i get back to manila will get played over and over again.

why is it so hard to let go of this one? i'm usually good at it. but now, even with my game face on, i seem to be having the most difficult time.

is it because i have never cared this much before? or have never felt this with anyone not even previous boyfriends?

that's just sad. but i'm on pause. so i'm not allowed to be sad. but i am.

so yes, i am doomed.

ironies and self-control

i seem to be finding it difficult to ignore you. i may be out of manila but your presence is felt from across the miles.

i want to not answer your messages but i'm failing miserably. in fact, your messages still bring a hefty amount of smile on my face.

funny, though that the joy you bring comes with a serving of pain as well.

am i doomed?

leaving

i just finished packing for a month long assignment in KL.
unlike my previous trip there, i'm looking forward to this one.
not because of the project but because it gave me a reason to go away for a while.
a much needed time off. from him.
with the hopes that when i get back, i have healed.
dear universe, please be on my side on this one.

needs

I need to be somewhere far. away from him.
I need time. to pull myself together
I need to be my old self again. to not care and be free
and i need to drink because these needs are driving me mad!!

figured where july went

this little boy turned 2! 
and had his first haircut and then, there's....

============= B O R A C A Y =============   

thanks deeaye for reminding me.
sans a few emo episodes, july was indeed a blast! no wonder it flew by so quickly!

spaced out much?

i was reading a blog i loved and posted a comment. when the comment appeared, the date showed july 24.

i paused for a minute and just as i was about to adjust my pc's date settings, i realized, it REALLY is july 24!

where did july go, i wonder.

hurt

the worst part is, he doesn't even know.

in a way, i'm at fault i guess. i should've known better than to trust my insticts.

but then if i am not able to do that, trust whatever my instincts tell me, then what's left?
is it better than the alternative that is cynicism and doubt?

take a chance, leap the leap otherwise you won't know. That's what everybody says.

So i did.

and look where i am now.

flattery or insult?

Icon Bar, 5:00AM
I was with des, standing by the bar dancing to our heart's content. Adam was in the washroom. A foreigner pops in front of me, extends his hand and says hi.
Foreign guy : Hi! I'm Jayson. You are?
Me : (10 second pause) Hi! I'm Michelle.
Foreign guy : (doesn't let go of my hand and leans even closer) How are you?
Me : I'm good.
Foreign guy : wanna dance?
Me : nah, i'm tired. Thanks!
Foreign guy : Wanna go to my place?
Me : Uh, No.
Foreign guy : So, wanna go to your place then?
Me : (giving him a pat on the shoulder) Nope, try someone else

A few minutes later, as des and i were walking towards the washroom, same guy approached me and goes:

Foreign guy : Hi.
Me : You already said hi to me earlier
Foreign guy : I know, so are we going to your place?

i upped and left before he can say anything else.
flattery or insult? take your pick.

booked!

boracay here i come. i've missed you!

talk about impulse vacays! hahahahhahaha!

deeaye and i are so gonna have a blast!

eating my words

last year, i said that running is not for me as i, for one, am not athletic.

a couple of months ago, thanks to my uber persistent friend tolits, and, after finding the perfect running shoes, i turned a new leaf. i began to run. and i loved it.

who would've thought that i, the ever clumsy, ever maarte non-athletic, can't-even-ride-a-bike girl would appreciate and love running so much that i already finished two 5k runs! one of which was at night, under heavy rain.

yup. i did and i never felt so friggin good!

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5K Nature Valley Run
5K Rock and Run

funny

college crush: good morning beautiful
me: good morning crazy person!
college crush: lakers or celtics?
me: (with full confidence)celtics...just coz i like odum and i hate coby!
college crush: odum is the powerforward of lakers. buti na lang maganda ka.

nuff said hahahaha!

he's back

just when i don't miss him anymore.

Chocolate Fire

not for chocolate intolerant..if there exists one.



they also serve soups, salads, pasta and sandwiches but the selection is very limited. i had the Mortadella which was ok albeit the overly toasted wheat bread.



Chocolate Fire
Herrera cor Leviste St.
Salcedo Vill. Makati

Tory Burch

i found myself cheating on my stylettos...with flats! Hahahaha!

my latest purchase ... a pair of tory burch flats. and yes, my feet are very happy!

oohh and i'm lusting over these!!!!