i've always loved talking to ayi. he makes sense. he doesn't judge. he listens. he does not give unsolicited advice. for years, he has been the designated
dalai lama of the group. we go to him if we want to make sense out of anything. and the best part is, we listen.
this weekend however, it was my turn to listen. while pam, jacky, dennis and the rest of the new diving friends went to explore the open sea of anilao, ayi and i opted to just stay in
the resort, a book each in hand - his,
Warrior of the Light by
Paulo Coelho, mine,
Sophie Kinsella's Shopaholic Ties the Knot.
a good hour or so and a few pages later, he sat down and said "i feel sad as i still don't know what my passion is". this not a new topic for us as we had the exact same conversation 3 years ago. only then, his question was "do you think i'm passionate?" of course, that time, i knew where he was coming from. he and april were still together and anyone who knows april would agree that she epitomizes what passion is about.
now, three years later, he is in that place again. only this time, his reasons aren't the same. he wants something that can make a difference and not just a hobby to while away the time.
a hobby is one that you do for yourself. passion is when you use that hobby as a tool to help or make others aware and in doing so, gives you a certain satisfaction that no amount of money can buy. it is when you take that extra step in the hope that at least one person is touched.
it is when scuba divers go out and clean the reefs; when bikers ride for cancer patients; when fashionistas and models walk the ramp to raise funds for AIDS; when teachers see the first sentence a student writes; when writers influence the way their readers think or take them places they've never been to; when musicians sing their heart out to feed the hungry; when actors and film makers bring tears and laughter which, for a brief moment, make the audience forget about the everyday drama of their lives.
when hobbies affect and inspire not just you, it becomes passion.
towards the end of the conversation, we both agreed that while for some, passion comes oh so naturally, it may not be the same for the rest. it doesn't come with a deadline like reports and budget proposals. nor does it come with a blueprint or manuals on how to's.
it happens when one is ready and while still in pursuit of it, there is no need to beat yourself up.