mid-day ramblings at work

i'm here in the US for a project...however, the materials we need for us to proceed are still somewhere in Kenya and Uganda making their way to New Jersey.

so now i'm a lull. don't get me wrong, i don't usually mind not doing anything at work. i mean, back in manila, this NEVER HAPPENS.

however, an idle mind can make you go antok or crazy. the antok i can handle. a cup of coffee or a puff of dunhill does the trick. it's the crazies that's drives me..well, crazy. it's times like this when you reminisce and think of the past. it wouldn't be a problem if all were good memories. but that's not the case. it's the bad ones that always pop up and when they do, it becomes an explosion of pandora's box.

maybe karma got lost?

i was reading bunny's entry on karma yesterday and you guessed it, i empathized. it got me thinking about my own karma. i mean, i'm grateful to have been blessed by a wonderful and loving family and i'm fortunate to have always been surrounded by awesome friends. i have a great job that allows me to do what i want and lets me travel to places i can only dream of going.

now come the BUT.

my lovelife has been on a losing streak. while it's true that one can't have everything, it sucks that i haven't had a decent relationship in a long time. and by a long time i meant the last real relationship i had. it's been 7 friggin years. sure i've gone out and had "relationships" after that but all were either fleeting or the what-was-i-thinking-kinda-stupid.

going back to karma, what is it that i've done that karma's been messing with my heart for the last decade? and if karma is indeed a bitch, how come the ones who did me wrong had their happily ever after?

naliligo naman ako ah.