reset

that's what i said. all i needed was a reset.

but at the rate i'm going, the reset becomes more like a pause. a pause that as soon as i get back to manila will get played over and over again.

why is it so hard to let go of this one? i'm usually good at it. but now, even with my game face on, i seem to be having the most difficult time.

is it because i have never cared this much before? or have never felt this with anyone not even previous boyfriends?

that's just sad. but i'm on pause. so i'm not allowed to be sad. but i am.

so yes, i am doomed.