sunday confessions: dork yet again

i have a thing. a gift, if i may say so.

you see, i say what i want, when i want, to whomever i want. call it frankness or honesty or sheer guts and ballsy, i could care less. i just am. i'm not one to shy away from saying something that is true. regardless. some have even called me a bitch. do i care? did i care? not the least bit. in fact, if being a bitch meant staying true, than hail to all dem bitches in the world ;)

BUT. yes, there's a but. a huge buge but.

you see, all those talk about frankness and honesty and guts and balls? they don't come when it counts. at least not around guys i like. and i mean, really really like. friends know this about me. the bitch leaves the door every single time i'm with a guy i like. seriously. my mind turns blank. i get tingles which results in involuntary shivers that make my voice crack while i say useless, pathetic, what-was-i-thinking-dorklike comments. argh!

now, i would understand and it would be more acceptable had it happened back in the days. you know, back when i still had a unibrow and i have yet to discover make-up and when my wardrobe staple was a pair of shorts and a tshirt and the new kids on the block was the happening boy band group. but to have it happen again at this stage in my life? wtf????

this. has. got. to. stop!