indifference

in·dif·fer·ence

inˈdif(ə)rəns/

noun

1. lack of interest, concern, or sympathy.

   "she shrugged, feigning indifference"

   synonyms:

   lack of concern, unconcern,disinterest, lack of interest, lack of enthusiasm, apathy, nonchalance,insouciance; More

   • unimportance.

     "it cannot be regarded as a matter of indifference"

     synonyms:

     unimportance, insignificance,irrelevance, inconsequentialityMore

     -----------

     
     

     Yup, that's it. That's just about sums  it up.

of memories long forgotten

I haven't spoken to anyone about you in a long time. And by long I mean years.
Sure you have crossed my mind in more than one occasion but none that made me reminisce and sad.

Today, however, over bottomless margaritas, I did.

For the first time, I spoke about you and it made me go back to how it was when we were close. I read the letter you asked me to write you on your birthday and I can't help but be sad.

Funny how things turn out huh? What was once a time that made me smile brought me tears. And in that instant. In that aota of a moment, I missed you.

Whatever happened to us?

of sudden longing and momentary sadness

I just finished watching The Mirror Has Two Faces for the nth time. As expected, I cried. Again. I don't think I will ever get tired of this movie. Prolly because it gives people like me hope that someday it's gonna be our turn...my turn at love and all it's glorious mess. 

My turn to find that one person that would make me feel like I'm home. One who won't judge me if I love to eat everything with butter or that salad for me isn't a meal but an appetizer. One who would look at me all messy and sweaty and still find me beautiful. One who won't tell me lies just coz that's what I wanted to hear. 

I want that. I need that. 

For the first time however, It suddenly felt like it's never gonna happen.  Mind you, that feeling of losing hope/faith over something you've always believed in scares the crap out of me. 

So I snapped out of it.

If Boots Anson-Roa got engaged at 69, why can't I right? 

Someday.  My turn will come.  I just hope I won't have to wait til I'm 69!