sunday confessions : i was an idiot in gradeschool

ok, so my appreciation for the opposite sex started way too early but what can a young girl do? hahaha!

anyway, uncle C may have been my first McDreamy but there was another one and this other one really gave me those knee-wobbling-can't-speak-when-he's-around kinda stuff. lets just call him AD.

when i was in fourth grade, him and my cousin who was a year older than me were classmates. he belonged to the cool upper levels and i was in awe the minute i saw him. all i could think of was to find ways of spending time with him in close proximity. he was a member of the glee club so i auditioned. he was a drummer for the school band so i asked my lola to buy me an instrument so i can join and i did. i didn't care if i had no idea what a lyre was. i just had to be in the same room with him even for like an hour each day and i'd be happy. my evening prayers included asking God to make him have a crush on me. seriously.

now, did we become friends? no. did we exchange a single conversation? no. why? because i was such an idiot!

i had my most embarrasing moment and i mean THE most embarrasing moment with him. there were several instances when i acted like a fool around him. once, as i was about to go down the stairs, i saw him like 4 steps away, going towards me. before i even thought of smiling or making a really good impression, my nerves got the best of me. i literally blurted "oh my God" and ran the opposite direction. a few minutes later, he went inside my classroom. what did i do? i ran and hid inside the brooms closet! pathetic! i stayed there for what seemed like ages. when i went out, my friend said he was looking for me. it was Valentines day! crap!!!!

okay so that was only the first. another happened when i went camping. yes, i was a Girl Scout and he was a Boy Scout. and in my school, campings were usually done for both simultaneously. one of the activities was the help the girls day where the boys would help us girls with whatever need we had. that time, i was on water duty so, with a pail in hand, i was gonna go and fetch some water. AD saw me and, together with another boy, walked towards me. now, one would see this as a perfect opportunity. he was gonna help me and i would say thank you. but no! the minute i realized what he was about to do, i went straight for his friend. gave him my pail. and yes, you guessed it. i ran. again. away from him.

i still wanna kick myself for acting like an idiot. i was such a pussy!

it's been over 2 decades now and i still laugh at myself when it comes up in conversations. hmn...i wonder where he is now?