sometimes it helps to not know

what you don't know won't hurt you normally is the case. normally. but i'm far from being normal i guess, as i've lived by "what i don't know scares the shit out of me" principle.

i need to know. even if it breaks my heart to a million pieces and more, i need to know. i'd rather be aware than be caught off guard as i don't like the feeling of not being in control.

however, there are instances when, after knowing stuff, i'd wish i didn't. often, enough these are things which do not directly concern me nor my family. admittedly, i have a knack for making people open up to me. it's a gift i guess and i feel honored that they find it comforting to confide to me.

from closet homosexuals who are afraid to come out but decided i'd be cool knowing that they'r gay, to cheating boyfriends who expect me to understand that that's what guys do, to juicy office gossip which everyone knows but refuse to talk about, name it and chances are, i've had a friend who, at one point, have told me about it.

now, if it's just information retention, it's ok. i could do that anytime. but if moral judgement and write vs wrong dilemma is involved, where do i draw the line? do i shut my mouth and sit still holding no judgement at all? or do i give my piece and risk hurting their feelings? is it still my business even if it really isn't?

sometimes i wish i should've been a tattletale. then people won't tell me stuff anymore.