selfish bitch

that's what i am. or at least that's how i think i am for the way i reacted on the recent development in my guy bestfriend's love life.

after years of being single, he now has a girlfriend, a pretty one at that. i know i SHOULD be happy for him. believe me, i want to. but part of me wants to strangle her pretty hair and poke her chinky eyes. horrible thought huh? i am so going to hell!

it's not that i want him for myself. we've had our time and it didn't work out. but we remained good best friends. you know, the kind where you know you'll come to each other's rescue whenever one finds him/herself in a strife.

it was different when we both had our own relationships to deal with. but since after my last break-up, he was sort of "my guy". he would cater to my every whim and i could bring him to parties anytime i please. we'd watch all the nice movies or get drunk together.

now he has found someone else to do those things with AND IT S-U-C-K-S! of course he doesn't know. hello? i will not dare tell him or he'll laugh his ass off for sure. that or he'd banish me for good.

i'm going to this really cool party tonight and normally, i'd have him in tow. but i didn't invite him because he might ask if i could give invites to his girl as well. oh crap! i'm really going to hell now!

i know eventually, i'd come around. when i've summoned enough will power i will meet her and maybe i will like her. for now, i simply can't.

my guy is now somebody else's guy and i feel shitty about it. bite me!