bitchings and musings of a reformed stoic

Day 5 : Morning Sky

2011-12-18T16:12:00.000+08:00

taken on the streets of Ginza, Tokyo

a christmas song like no other

2011-12-13T22:09:00.002+08:00

everyone who knows me well, knows that Christmas songs don't actually give me the fuzzies.

i don't like them. except for a few that bring childhood memories when my dad would play tagalog songs early in the morning in time for the simbang gabi.

other songs i could care less.

this song, however, i find nice. really nice.
it's short, hopeful, meaningful and direct in a very catchy and not so christmassy melody. enjoy!

Maybe This Christmas - Rex Sexsmith

Day 4 : Leaves

2011-12-09T21:12:00.000+08:00

last few days of autumn...

took this while on board the Mark Twain Riverboat Cruise at Tokyo Disneyland

an open letter to love

2011-12-05T23:55:00.001+08:00

dear love,

i miss you.

really, i do. it's been a long time since i've had you. don't you think it's about time you come to my life again?

i miss the cheesiness, the conversations, the joy and the complications you bring.

really. all the good and the bad that comes with having you in my life pales in comparison to not having you in it.

i have so much of you to give. more than enough to go around family and friends. i have plenty.

anyway, today is my birthday. i just thought i'd write you so you won't forget about me.
i'm not losing hope. not just yet.

love, me :)

because it's my birthday

2011-12-05T00:00:00.002+08:00

i got to wear a cute hat in the happiest place on earth :)

Tokyo Disneyland

Day 3 : Happiness

2011-12-03T20:51:00.003+08:00

is uninterrupted online stream of the Philippine Azkals vs David Beckham's LA Galaxy while munching on some Nori :)

tokyo foodies

2011-12-03T06:49:00.000+08:00

if there's one thing that i really really love in tokyo, it's the food. everything is oh so yum! here are a few photos i've managed to take before eating. enjoy!

** click on each photo for a better view

Sizzling seafood (scallops, squid, salmon and whelk)

sashimi platter

grilled tiger prawns

grilled squid tentacles

shabu-shabu

ramen

tendon

chocolate coated bananas

salisbury steak

edamame

okonomiyaki

egg soba

i will try to take more pictures...if i can stop myself from eating them right away! hahahaha!

* burp *

Day 2 : Smile

2011-12-02T23:41:00.001+08:00

birthdays away from home need not be sad...
i started my bday way too early this year..in the company of newfound friends, good food and a whole lot of shochu :)

Day 1 : Favorite Food

2011-12-01T13:30:00.001+08:00

in all the places i've been to, no matter how much i loved and gushed over how good the food is, i always find myself craving for my mom's adobo.

zoom in on gratitude: 30 day photo challenge

2011-12-01T11:29:00.002+08:00

so i got inspired by my dear friend sammy to embark on a 30day photo challenge.
what better way to end the year than a month filled with gratitude in time for the coming year :)

wish me luck!

hello kitty uggs

2011-11-27T12:33:00.001+08:00

whoever said that ugg boots are ugly obviously did not see this...

now my feet can stay warm in style :)

on out of office auto-replies

2011-11-17T20:27:00.002+08:00

this might be ironic since i just posted my happiness entry for the day but i need to rant...for just a bit.

dear email sender,

i'm currently in Tokyo for a project. my out of office reply specifically says, that i may not be able to reply to your emails and for urgent issues, you may reply to the rest of the team in Manila.

so, it won't help even if you send an email needing for me to reply ASAP. and there is NO POINT for you to escalate since i AM NOT REQUIRED to attend to your every need.

out of office auto replies are meant to inform you that. read it. understand it.

kapish?

happiness is...

2011-11-17T19:12:00.002+08:00

a good night's sleep. woohoo! finally!

slept at 10 and woke up at 6.

i now can tell the difference. i was uber energized the whole day :)

happiness is...

2011-11-15T20:40:00.001+08:00

purefoods corned beef straight from the asian deli just across the office :)

happiness is...

2011-11-14T19:47:00.003+08:00

blessings, albeit small and simple, are never trivial.

so, i'm gonna start with my happiness entries. because no matter how crappy and shitty my day is, there's always something that made me smile.

today, happiness is...

finding an asian store just across the office where there's lucky me pancit canton, purefoods corned beef and mama sita's afritada mix!

now i won't miss home cooked pinoy meals while i'm here in Tokyo. :)

it's been two months

2011-11-06T02:21:00.001+08:00

and today is the first time i thought about him.

i miss him. i still miss him.

just when i thought i was doing better. too much for baby steps huh?

trick or treat 2011

2011-11-03T00:22:00.000+08:00

for my nephew's first trick or treat, he came as tarzan...

last year, he was a scarecrow...

this year, he owned Jack Sparrow

my sister is genius. he made all of miguel's costumes! amazing huh?

too bad i missed it though...

my first sakura sighting

2011-10-23T20:38:00.003+08:00

it's the beginning of winter and sakura blossom usually in spring.

today, however, as we went inside the The Imperial Palace grounds, we were fortunate enough to see 2 sakura trees in bloom.

i almost died :)

must. learn. nihonggo. soon.

2011-10-22T20:36:00.000+08:00

i love love love japanese food (my url isn't stoicsushi for nothing). imagine my excitement and anticipation when i learned that i was gonna be assigned here in Tokyo for a couple of months!

sushi. fresh, succulent melts in your mouth sushi.

ramen. rich, hearty. the kind that makes all booboos go away.

it's been a week and i have to say, everything i've eaten were all oh-so-yummy!

however, ordering them is a task. a long, frustrating yet funny task.

so, i shall learn the language. at least the more important ones. read -the ones that can help me order the food in the menu! hahahaha!

oh tokyo, you are one cool city.

i can't wait to be friends with you :)

happiest birthday for my bestest friend ever

2011-10-17T12:00:00.000+08:00

this is it! of all the pivotal events in your life, this, by far is the one i will never ever forget. it took all my energy not to shriek when you told me the good news.

you are going to have your happily ever after.

more than the bling, it's the thought that you are soon to say i do that gives me the chills.
you have found the one.

as shrek is to fiona and prince charming is to cinderella, you have found the one.

“Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love.”

good things indeed come to those who wait. i am happy.

i love you. happy birthday :)

moshi moshi

2011-10-16T20:41:00.001+08:00

so my trip to tokyo finally pushed through.

for the next 2 months, i will be eating all the sushi and ramen i could get hold of.

i'm excited.

the apartment is cozy. very cozy.

oh, and the tub almost gave me a heart attack! hello claustrophobia :D

but i'm not complaining.

i. love. my. job.

Fried brains anyone?

2011-09-19T11:39:00.000+08:00

It's monday and my brain refuses to send signals for the rest of my body to function. Well, except for my fingers who are too stubborn to tweet and blog and update FB! Hahahha!

and so somebody kissed me

2011-09-19T01:58:00.000+08:00

and i don't even know his name. hahahaha!

i was too drunk to even remember how he looked like! all i know is i was having the time of my life.

happy birthday to my dear friend nishy. your party was the bomb.

ps. it was more like lil pecks on the cheek. baka may kanin ako sa pisngi hahahha!

deleted

2011-09-01T15:07:00.000+08:00

for the nth time, i decided to let himhim go. while i may have tried and failed several times in the past, i know i SHOULD try again one last time.

last night, as i was on FB, i saw him. read his updates. lurked at his page.

and then it hit me. i felt like a friggin' teenage stalker. yaiks!

so i did what a normally sane, composed adult would do. i deleted him.

one single click and he's gone. at least in all my social media.

the madness had to stop.

baby steps. little tiny baby steps. makakarating din ako.

well rested

2011-08-25T22:43:00.000+08:00

my sleeping habits are usually normal after a long trip abroad. usual being 2 days of falling asleep long before the late night news ends (or starts).

it's been 5 days. except for one night where i had to go to a wake, i've been sleeping like a baby. FOR 8 STRAIGHT HOURS! can i say i wanna jump and scream?

so, i won't break the spell. imma sleep early tonight.

could it be that all those tricks i did in Joburg are finally taking effect???

and so my wacka wacka journey ends

2011-08-20T07:47:00.000+08:00

it's true what they say...there's no place like home..

in a few hours i shall bid Johannesburg a bittersweet farewell.....my home for the last 3 months.

i say bittersweet because i can't wait to go back to manila but at the same time, i know i will terribly miss the friends i've made while i'm here. South Afrikaans are wonderful people. gracious and polite and ever so friendly.

i wouldn't mind going back as i know there's still so much to see. more people to meet. a lot of things to explore.

so long Johannesburg. i will miss you. i can say i've grown and for that, i am thankful.

to all the shiny happy people i've met, maraming maraming salamat. my stay here was made extra special because you guys are around.

see you next year :)

last 2 nights in Joburg

2011-08-19T04:59:00.001+08:00

I

CAN'T

WAIT

to the EX..ulit

2011-08-18T02:25:00.000+08:00

seeing you still with her after all these years brought a smile on my face...

our break-up was not in vain.

you ended up happy and gotten your act together.

i'm proud of you. really.

mas maganda man ako sa kanya, masaya naman siya sa yo.

she had her happy ending and at the end of the day, that's what matters :)

to the EX

2011-08-16T05:42:00.006+08:00

to the one who broke my heart, the reason i've become the jaded person i am today, i'm happy to see that you are happy.

really.

PERO mas maganda pa rin ako sa kanya!

oh hindi ako bitter, honest lang.

but seriously, i'm glad you look happy.

5 days to go

2011-08-16T03:31:00.000+08:00

so my trip to KL got cancelled.

which means i will officially be home on the 21st.

I. CAN'T. WAIT.

5 days til...

...i see my family

...i eat my mom's adobo and sinigang

...manang takes over my laundry

5 days til i'm home.

6 days left in Johannesburg

2011-08-15T00:02:00.000+08:00

and i have packed most of my stuff.

really.

bought my pasalubongs weeks ahead so i'm done shopping.

excited much?

crazy as a schedule can be

2011-08-09T01:44:00.002+08:00

so i'm leaving joburg on the 20th.
will arrive in manila on the noon of the 21st.

and then i'm off to KL for another project on the 22nd for a few days.

which means i'll be officially home on the 26th!

woot woot!

heaven in a bottle

2011-08-07T18:27:00.000+08:00

Lovoka

seriously. it is.
haven't tried the chocolate but the caramel is oh so yum!

one of the best that South Africa has to offer.

unconventionally moisturized

2011-08-03T03:33:00.002+08:00

it's a known fact. winter doesn't do one's skin any good. AT ALL!

since my entire stay in Johannesburg will be the whole duration of winter, i had to find the perfect moisturizer. the regular ones just don't work.

vaseline aloe fresh hydrating was the best i could find.

or so i thought.

i read somewhere that it's good to use hair conditioner when shaving legs. i tried it and voila! it was perfect!
not only were my legs hairless, they were shiny and soft and smooth! without having to put on lotion.

so tonight, i thought why not use it all over while in the shower.

was i a happy camper. now i have skin as soft as a baby's bottom. who knew right? thestepfordwitch will be proud hehehe!

freedom day

2011-08-02T04:44:00.002+08:00

today marks the time i stop to care. i'm done. and i'm so glad it finally came.

funny thing is, i actually feel a sense of freedom.

i've been cooped up in a world where a day starts and ends with all the stress of thinking about him.
all the what ifs, could've beens and all the drama that IS him.

or i could have been in an uber long bangunot that i just had to wake up.

just like that.

and as nightmares go, the bad things just stopped the moment i opened my eyes.

just like that.

i am back. with a smile on my face.

salamat universe.

chasing pavements

2011-07-25T06:14:00.000+08:00

I've made up my mind,
Don't need to think it over
If I'm wrong, I am right
Don't need to look no further,
This ain't lust, I know this is love

But, if I tell the world I'll never say enough
'cause it was not said to you
And that's exactly what I need to do If I end up with you

Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasin' pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere
Or would it be a waste
Even if I knew my place
Should I leave it there

an email for myself

2011-07-23T23:28:00.000+08:00

almost 3 years ago, when my bestfriend was having one of "those days", i sent her this email.

now, i'm borrowing it and sending to myself. because yes, i need it. badly.

"we are works of art. we are not done yet.

we still have to undergo pains but when we're done, we will be priceless and fab.

da vinci did not finish the mona lisa in one day.

i believe we will have our time. you and i.

it would be a complete and utter disgust to the whole humankind kung hindi.
darating din yun.
darating din sya.
in the meantime,
we have beaches to conquer, wines to drink, boys to have fun with and uber fab friends who will pick us up or untog our ulo when we get lost."

minor setback and a bounce

2011-07-23T23:08:00.001+08:00

i had the worst blues attack last week. i mean yuck! lasted for 3 days which was even more yuck.

but it's over. i've managed to shake it off. i'm sorta back to "normal".

in less than a month, i will be going back to manila. familiar place. familiar people. home.

===

in other news, my boss in manila called yesterday to tell me that another team is poaching me. she didn'nt want me to move but said that it's a step up in the corporate ladder and that she wanted me to know my options. and since she put it that way, i said yes to the move. with the promise to transition until a suitable replacement for my current post is identified.

so there, effective Aug. 1, i shall leave the umbrella of the boss i've loved for 5 yrs. it's bittersweet since she's the one who gave me a break. she's my mentor and i love her dearly. but that's life. you just gotta roll with it.

and hell imma rolling :)

the man who changed South Africa

2011-07-16T02:27:00.001+08:00

Nelson Mandela Square

ok, so it's really not him. but still :)

ps. i wanna visit the apartheid museum before i leave.

meow

2011-07-06T04:44:00.000+08:00

the other side of the bed

2011-07-03T19:10:00.000+08:00

i'm one of those people who find comfort in sleeping alone. at least most of the time. and why won't i? all the pillows are mine. no one snores. and there's more room to move.

but then there are nights when i long to have someone on that side of the bed.

a friend once told me, you shouldn't take both sides of the bed, otherwise no one will share it with you.

well i haven't been using that side of the bed for a FRIGGIN LONG TIME. too long that i found a dent on my side! so now i wanna sleep on that other side because the cushion is much softer and nicer!

which made me think. if that side was meant for whoever he is, and now that i wanna take his side...will he take my old side of the bed or insist on taking what was originally his? hahaha!

i'm not making sense. so what. i'm alone in my room. on a beautiful sunday afternoon. with nothing else to do but blab! so there, that's my bitching for this week.

song in my head. thoughts in my mind.

2011-06-29T03:15:00.001+08:00

So I won't let you close enough to hurt me
No, I won't ask you, you to just desert me
I can't give you, what you think you give me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables
To turning tables

Turning Tables lyrics

distance

2011-06-26T21:50:00.001+08:00

that's what we have.

it would be better if its about miles.

but it isn't.

that's what makes it sad. really sad.

because it's too cold to go out...

2011-06-25T21:43:00.000+08:00

we brought the bar in my room...cheers!

daddy's little girl (repost)

2011-06-19T16:56:00.001+08:00

Five years ago, i wrote this for my dad on his birthday.

I'm reposting this now because nothing has changed. He remains to be the best father, my first love.

Happy Father's Day Papa.

May God continue to bless us with your gift of life, laughter and love in the years to come.

=======

i never thought that writing about my dad would be this difficult! i have so much to say and yet i couldn't find the right words.

i always get emotional whenever i talk about him and today is no exception. i am after all his little girl. being the eldest of 3, when i was young, papa would always tell me that i was his first love. and indeed i was. he just didn't know he was mine as well.

papa tells the funniest jokes. his stories and pranks bring sunshine on every one in the room with him and just makes everybody's day.

papa has the most caring hands. when one of us is sick, he is the first person to get up and look after us. he would stay by our bedside and wouldn't sleep until he knows we're feeling better.

papa has the gentlest voice. his words never failed to soothe and give us comfort especially when we were at our lowest. his sensitivity is a gift as he always knows when to say the right words

papa has the most beautiful soul i've ever come across. he doesn't see the bad but sees the good in people and things. he has the biggest heart, his love is unconditional. he gives without expecting any in return.

papa has the simplest of joys and each time something nice comes along he is always grateful.

i wish i could be even half the person he is.

all that i am now, i owe to him. he is a blessing. he is an angel. he's my inspiration. he is my friend and he is the best father in the world.

i may not always say it but i know he knows that i love him.

happy father's papa!

South Africa...two weeks down

2011-06-13T04:34:00.000+08:00

this june

2011-06-01T01:53:00.000+08:00

i will miss...

...father's day

...my sister's birthday

...the opening my ninang's resort

but...i will look forward to

...working with my colleagues here in joburg

...going to krueger which, they say is the best zoo in south africa

...making new friends

...spending time with the rest of the gang as they will come in next week

i'm loving my stay here. so much that i have not been homesick since i arrived.

oh, and i bought a new pair of boots!

and so my waka waka journey begins

2011-05-27T21:40:00.001+08:00

for the next three months Johannesburg, South Africa will be my home.

the hotel is wonderful and the service is GREAT! pro-active staff left and right.

the food, compared to KL, is awesome. no need for inday to do the cooking!

the weather is perfect. it's the beginning of winter and temperature ranges from 3-12degrees. time to bring out my winter wardrobe! woopie!

the people are nice. all of them. from the driver who picked me up to the hotel staff to my colleagues at work. they are all very warm and friendly and welcoming.

Johannesburg is a photographer's dream. the office and hotel are both located in the suburbs so the streets aren't bustling with commuters and traffic.

it's melbourne all over again. the streets, the pace, the buildings, the weather. i love it!
if my first two days here is a promise of the nex 87 days, i'm sure to have a blast.

again, i love my job!!!!

happy mother's day!

2011-05-08T21:10:00.001+08:00

no, this is not my mom, nor is it a satire for my mom. i sent her flowers and she cried :)

took this picture late this afternoon...how very apt...first coz it's mother's day and second, it's sort of a practice for my trip to south africa hehe!

wacka wacka it's time for Africa

2011-05-07T22:52:00.000+08:00

i was supposed to stay here in KL until the end of May but due to an urgent requirement for another project, i'll be flying back to Manila on Monday to process my visa for South Africa.

yes, wacka wacka it is.

to make things more interesting, himhim will be assigned there as well. and so for the next three months, we shall be together. every single day.

wish me luck.

homeward bound

2011-04-24T22:09:00.001+08:00

I'm all set to go back to manila tomorrow. yey! can't wait to see my family especially my nephew.

Must make the most out of the next six days coz imma comin back this sunday for yet another project.

Sayonara KL, hello manila!

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patience

2011-04-22T22:44:00.002+08:00

Everybody who knows me knows that patience isn't really one of my virtues.

Oh but patient today, i was! Our client flew in from Dubai to oversee the project's cutover this weekend. Normally, and in almost all the projects i've implemented, clients just tell me what they want and my job is just to produce the output that they want.

BUT NO! not with this one.

He insisted on watching everything i do. Now i wouldn't mind if he was just there to observe. But he didn't. He wantrd to do things his way. He's the client so i let him have his way. I did what he said. And failed. All of it. So i told him, now can we do it my way? He said sure, wherever you're more comfortable. So i did, and it worked just fine.

When i was done, he smiled and asked me out for smokes :)

Amen.

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holy week in kl

2011-04-20T21:41:00.001+08:00

Will be spent at work. . . While folks in manila are on a long break.
Nasan ang katarungan dun?

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because i deserve one

2011-04-16T19:22:00.000+08:00

Samsung Galaxy Tab

now i can play angry birds in a bigger screen hahaha!

i miss being in love

2011-04-13T22:39:00.001+08:00

i do.

i miss the cheesiness.

i miss being held.

i miss the conversations.

i miss gasping for air just coz he's in the room.

i miss being somebody else's someone.

more than that, i miss being in love.

my friends keep telling me, after all the wrong, the right guy will eventually come. i have so much love to give. more than enough to go around family and friends. i have plenty.

i told my friend today, somewhere, someone is looking for me. it's just a matter of time.

sometimes though, i can't help but think what if he doesn't come? what if no one is really there? now that's really sad. and depressing. but there's that chance. what if?

:(

guess who went to the Malaysia Grand Prix :)

2011-04-12T02:41:00.000+08:00

without her slr!!! ggrrrrrr! sorry na! malay ko bang manonood ako ng F1 dito sa KL. good thing i had my trusted phone so i was able to take some pics.

it was awesome! the noise, the crowd, the weather, the boys!

oh-la la!

2011-04-03T00:29:00.000+08:00

i was browsing thru the cable channels and i chanced upon an old episode of American Chopper. i used to watch this a lot not because i love bikes. i watched mainly because i find Vincent DiMartino hot. sexy hot. really hot. have i said it enough? he. is. hot.

especially if he's covered with grease.

sigh...

first weekend back in KL

2011-04-02T23:22:00.001+08:00

was spent in my room. working.

i've been here a week and i have not stepped inside a shopping mall. unbelievable! hahahha!

good news is i haven't gone shopping.

let's see how long i can last :D

april fools in KL

2011-04-01T23:28:00.002+08:00

i've had quite a day. and not because of the project here in KL!

one of the servers in Manila has been giving me quite a headache since yesterday. I CAN'T FIGURE WHAT'S CAUSING THE ERROR! wtf!

to make the long story short...my first weekend back in KL is a working weekend. boooo!!!

1 week down, 3 more weeks to go.

big big raves for Red Rock Nail Spa

2011-03-27T03:59:00.001+08:00

i learned about this place from The Stepford Witch a few weeks back. the review was great so i went and tried it tonight with my sister.

IT.WAS.A.TREAT!

now i might have to end my 5yr relationship with Tips 'n Toes and start a new one with Red Rock Nail Spa! that's how impressed i was!

the de luxe foot spa was way better than the one that Tips 'n Toes offers. on top of the usual foot spa with pedicure, it comes with a massage! and it's not the kind that's bitin. it's the kind that you won't mind paying extra for.

it's like getting first class seats at the price of coach. really. seriously.

i love love love it! thanks kookie for sharing :)

Red Rock Nail Spa

3270-C Armstrong Ave.

Merville Access Road, Parañaque City

Tel. 3414902

=====
April 13 update : they now have free wifi. now i wanna go back to manila :D

of hello kitty dreams and dreadful earthquakes

2011-03-14T21:00:00.001+08:00

in light of the recent events in Japan, my trip to hello kittly land will be postponed indefinitely.

i'm sad and relieved at the same time.

sad because i was so looking forward to this trip since forever.
relieved since i don't think i could last a day full tension and fear whether an earthquake or tsunami will hit.

i'm glad though that my friend who's currently there on a project is safe, albeit shaken.

my heart goes out to those who fell victims into this tragic act of nature.

it does make one realize that life does and can end in a single snap, no matter how prepared or cautious we are.

that thing you do

2011-03-13T03:15:00.000+08:00

you're doing it again!

utang na loob! make up your mind. make your move or leave me alone.

it's as simple as that.

promoted

2011-03-05T01:58:00.000+08:00

blessings, no matter how small or how big, are simply the best.

amidst calamities and war and apathy, one has to learn to be greatful. not just for the big things, but the littlest of things which make one smile.

life is good. no matter what.

bitching and musings on V day

2011-02-14T17:07:00.002+08:00

my William Hayes is not over his ex. i must admit i wasn't surprised. what's surprising is it isn't as crappy and shitty as i expected it to be.

i probably got used to the idea that this thing with him is an uber vicious-never-ending-sana-matapos-na cycle. OR i just don't give as much damn as i used to. which is sad. stoicbitch, are you back?

on happier news...

i got my Visa for Hello Kitty land this morning. yey! the initial schedule was March 1 but due to resource constraints, it was moved to the last week of March. still, i'm excited.

since my trip to Japan was moved to a later date, i will be flying back to KL for a short assignment. i'm excited since a bunch of my teammates are there plus the trip will just be for a week so yey!

and lastly, to celebrate V day, my fab girlfiends and i are having wine tonight at Barcino. april, imma drink your share hehehe!

so there, that's my V day so far. a lil bitch of bitching and a whole lotta musings :)

life is good.

and i wonder if i ever cross your mind

2011-02-11T03:03:00.001+08:00

....for me it happens all the time....

the job that isn't

2011-02-10T00:02:00.001+08:00

if i have not said it enough, i will say it again. i love my job!

not only do i get to travel and meet all sorts of interesting people, but at the end of the day, it gives me the feeling that my job really isn't a job. i like it too much for it to be.

my boss is awesome. really awesome.
my colleagues are my friends.
and everyday is always an opportunity for growth.

love it! wouldn't trade it.

:)

ps. i got my PA last night and it said...i'm getting a promotion. woot woot!

facelift

2011-02-06T21:29:00.001+08:00

i finally upgraded my classic blog template to the new xml format.

nainspire ako sa yo abril!

new year.
new look.

sana naman may new love na din! this is, after all MY year!

cheers to all you wabbits out there!

next destination...hello kitty's birthplace

2011-02-05T21:10:00.003+08:00

keeping my fingers crossed until my visa gets approved.

still, i can't help but be excited! who wouldn't? plus, it'll be springtime soon which means i get to see REAL cherry blossoms! mababaw na kung mababaw!

wish me luck!

ink!

2011-01-16T12:45:00.004+08:00

i did it! after 2 yrs of really really thinking about it, i finally had it done yesterday.

the colors are still bright and my skin was still swollen in this photo...but i love it!

the tattoo artist was great! turned out, it's more painful to have a bikini wax! today, the colors became darker especially on the greens and it's even prettier than yesterday!

my sister said it's so me...indeed it is :)

one check on my bucket list...now on to the next!

Happy Christmas!

2010-12-29T12:25:00.001+08:00

hope your Christmas was happy as ours :)

yes, we were bees! we drew yellow stripes as theme this year.

this is it! my scary age!

2010-12-04T22:50:00.004+08:00

in a few hours...i will turn 35...

which, after watching an episode in sex and the city, has become my scary age. sort of. you see i've always thought that i'd be married by this time. but obviously, i'm not.

but i won't be disheartened. somewhere, someone is just waiting to be found or could be on his way to finding me...i just hope he doesn't make the wrong turn again :)

happy birthday dear old me. here's to more fab years ahead.

and to my dear dad....my first love, the only thing that makes me anticipate my bday is because it is your birthday too. happy 75th! here's to 100 years more of awesomeness! we love you papa!

call it what you want

2010-12-01T01:34:00.002+08:00

coincidence...serendipity...or just another big fat silly trick that the universe has sent my way.

call it what you want. take it how you want. he's back. again. single and ready to mingle. not himhim from work. but the one that got away. the one itch i haven't scratched. the one who turns/turned my world upside down even when i had a boyfriend. that one. and what perfect timing now that himhim has been laid to rest!

could he really be that this time around? my william hayes?

is he santa's early christmas pressy? or a birthday gift perhaps?

ok i'm stopping.

Rapunzel : A Tangled Tale

2010-11-28T23:16:00.002+08:00

i have not enjoyed a single Disney animated film since The Little Mermaid. it did set the bar high after all and the ones that follow fell short. don't get me wrong, they're not bad. they're just not as good.

Rapunzel however, blew me away. the soundtrack was amazing. the colors are brilliant and the dialogues are hilarious. of course i am biased as Flynn Rider's voice was that of Zach Levi. it doesn't matter that the entire movie felt like hearing Chuck rant. no. it doesn't matter. at all.

here's what i'm singing in my head and i can't stop!!!

abril! watch it!!!!! you have to!

just around the corner

2010-11-20T01:50:00.002+08:00

so how come i'm not feeling it yet? despite the fabulous displays in almost all the malls here in KL, i really am not in holiday spirits.

boo! imma have to start feelin it. SOON!!! after all, scrooge is so overrated.

35 days to go.

updates since my last post

2010-11-15T23:16:00.002+08:00

Work:
I'm back in KL, this time, a project for Singapore. the last project for HK was a huge success albeit some issues, most of which are non-work related

I have a new member which makes us a team of 6 now. masipag pa. for how long, i'm not sure hahaha!
performance appraissal is just around the corner so i'm keeping both fingers and toes crossed! a promotion sounds mighty fine :)

Family:
Miguel was a scarecrow last halloween. oooohhh and he was the cutest scarecrow ever!

himhim:
IS DEAD. I KILLED HIM NA!

well, he's out my life at least. like way out. we hardly talked since i went back to manila..not even before i left for KL. do i miss him? i'd be lying and a straightass hypocrite if i say i don't.

so yes, i do. but not like before. something just died and he and i were never the same.

friends:
i'm gonna be a bridesmaid. again. one in december and the other one in january. lampas 27 dresses na ito!!!! lord, pwede bang tanggalin na ang maid at maging bride naman ako??? hahhaa!

so that's it. KL is gonna be home for the next month. which means, i will be celebrating my bday here and i will be missing Papa's big 75th celebration at home :(

counting the days

2010-10-16T00:57:00.002+08:00

5 more days to go and imma comin home!
but first, i will be spending the weekend at the historical Malacca.
can you spell excited?

moment of truth

2010-10-07T20:31:00.003+08:00

tomorrow will be the cutover for the last wave of this ever mahabang project.

uat is almost done and so far, no major issue has been encountered.

if everything goes according to plan, the days following this weekend will be a breeze.
wish me luck!

oh! oh! and this would mean that in less than 2 weeks, i'll be back in manila! yey!!! no more cooking! no more laundry! hello senyorita! hahahhahah!

booked

2010-09-30T00:13:00.003+08:00

as the project here is coming to a close, instead of going back to manila, we opted to just exit KL for a weekend in Singapore.

could've been better if i was able to book a flight to Bangkok and join my bestie!

avril! elusive ang ating out of manila rendezvous anovah!!!!!

back in KL

2010-09-17T20:49:00.003+08:00

for another month or so...

we are halfway through the project and i have yet to uncross my fingers since i got back last week hahaha!

this is it! go live for the last applications is drawing near.

so far so good.

i'm letting you go

2010-09-06T01:15:00.001+08:00

to swim with the other fishes so i too can swim in a sea without you in it...

thank you.

you asked me tonight if i was brave for not taking the chance just coz i know there's no point or that i'm just scared for not wanting to get hurt. I'm telling you now. I honestly don't know.

all i know is i have to make peace with what is and not hope or think of what it's not.

and this...letting you go...no matter how hard it is is the bravest thing i have done and will do.

good to be home

2010-09-02T01:29:00.002+08:00

so it's day 2 in manila and everything is better than fine.

Day 1 was spent with my family. Well at least for the entire 4hours that i was awake! Hahaha! mama cooked adobo since i requested for it. Since i started getting lo ng out of the country assignments, adobo has been my welcome meal. So even if airline food as yet to be digested, i had to eat. After all, no one cooks adobo like my mom!

my nephew miguel could not get enough of me and i'm not complaining. he now has this eay of looking and smiling at you as if to say uuuyyy ninang is here! And his words! Omg! It's only been a month but his vocabulary has increased tremendously. That plus the fact that he's more pilyo than ever. once i said no and he goes "aba laban na ha!" and the gives me the cutest smile! hahaha!

Today was spent at work. and as expected, i was swamped. But i don't mind. I love what i do! 2 days down. 5 days to go before i leave again.

Oh and the best part is i saw him and i was ok. which is a far cry from where i was a month ago. Snaps for me!

manila, oh how i love thee. You're far from perfect but i am happy to call you my imperfect home :)

manila hostage crisis, my half cents worth

2010-08-28T14:42:00.003+08:00

it's been 5 days after the manila hostage crisis took place. rolando mendoza will be buried today.

has the Philippine government done something about it besides pointing fingers on who is to blame?

i am currently in KL and the front page of the news for the days following the incident was that. being a filipino in a foreign land at a time like this makes one feel not shame but guilt. but i spoke too soon.

pictures have circulated the web which tainted what is left of our country's dignity. cops and students alike posed and smiled in front of the bus. so yes, for that i am shameful to be called a Filipino.

i have read a number of articles about those who survived and i can't help but feel that the people in my country did this to them. a mother lost a husband and 2 duaghters with a son in ICU. what do you make of that? how will they feel if they see that while they are in grief, people still had the audacity to strike a pose?

does it matter now whether mendoza meant to kill anyone or not? or that media aired the arrest or not?

at the end of the day, lives were lost.

that was that.

hope for the flowers

2010-08-28T01:02:00.001+08:00

a very good friend of mine is in love.

wonderful news. it's one of those unexpected surprises that you love to get.

the playah is playing no more and i'm glad.

makes one think, there is indeed hope for the flowers. and the bees. and the trees.

ok, i'm blabbing. i'm just happy for him. way to go babes. it's about time.

on expectations falling short

2010-08-25T23:32:00.000+08:00

never ask a question if you're not ready for the answer. especially if the answer you're gonna get is not the one that you were hoping for.

a friend once told me, you only get hurt when you expect. does that mean you just take things as they are. settle for things that are and never think about the possibility of something other than what is?

i say screw that. otherwise, i'm screwed.

expectations give us a glimmer of hope. the key is not to go overboard. while it's true that it's no fun when people/things fall short of what is expected, it's not the end of the world. if it is, then the world has ended for all of us a long time ago.

of course i'm writing this, not for you as i am still trying to convince myself. almost there. baby steps.

Terrified

2010-08-24T01:25:00.002+08:00

i love this version...Zachary Levi is friggin hot!

him singing is just the icing on top :)

excitement and dread

2010-08-21T13:05:00.005+08:00

in a little over a week, i will be going back to manila.

i'm excited to see friends and family. but not without an ounce of dread as i too will see him again. it's been a week since my last emo episode and i'd like to keep it that way.

on the upside, i will be back here after a week. so all is good.

====

on a different note, i'm off to Timesquare to buy me a tripod for nikki (yes, i named my toy! deal with it!)

happy weekend everyone!

green is good

2010-08-18T22:14:00.000+08:00

wheatgrass honey....my new favorite drink

cam fiddler

2010-08-14T02:14:00.001+08:00

with the arrival of my new toy comes the birth of a new hobby which i think deserves it's own space in cyberworld.

come check out my photo blog

disclaimer: i'm nowhere near good. but i'm learning. :)

when girls get sad...they buy stuff

2010-08-08T20:37:00.002+08:00

so i did. today. on a whim.

Nikon D3000

the crappy part of all these drama

2010-08-07T23:15:00.005+08:00

is that i can't talk to you about it.

you've asked me a million times but i just can't and it sucks. tonight, when you asked if it was you, i almost said yes. but i can't. so i didn't. it's easier that way i think.

you're my bestfriend and i should be able to tell you stuff like these. that's what you're supposed to be doing. comforting me in times like these.

but how can i when the problem is you? how can i tell you that everytime you're near i melt? how can i tell you that when your heart breaks, my heart breaks into a million pieces more?

how can i tell you that i need to stop loving you? tell me. how?

you should've stayed away. you shouldn't have gone back.

now i'm a mess and i can't tell my bestfriend about it.

domestic diva in KL

2010-08-07T15:31:00.007+08:00

unlike my last trip here in KL where we stayed at the Renaissance, this time we were fortunate enough to be booked in a serviced apartment. which meant, that we can cook and eat the food that we like. it's cheap and won't give you gas.
so today, we went to market. and i mean, a real wet market. my mom will be proud.

and then i cooked a decent lunch for me and my roomies to share.

torta and mixed veggies with basmati rice
cooking relaxes me. that plus the fact that i like it when people like what i cook. so yes, i am a domestic diva in KL as i was in Melbourne
just don't tell my mom.

reset

2010-08-05T01:19:00.002+08:00

that's what i said. all i needed was a reset.

but at the rate i'm going, the reset becomes more like a pause.

a pause that as soon as i get back to manila will get played over and over again.

why is it so hard to let go of this one? i'm usually good at it. but now, even with my game face on, i seem to be having the most difficult time.

is it because i have never cared this much before? or have never felt this with anyone not even previous boyfriends?

that's just sad. but i'm on pause. so i'm not allowed to be sad.

but i am.

so yes, i am doomed.

ironies and self-control

2010-08-04T00:45:00.003+08:00

i seem to be finding it difficult to ignore you.

i may be out of manila but your presence is felt from across the miles.

i want to not answer your messages but i'm failing miserably. in fact, your messages still bring a hefty amount of smile on my face.

funny, though that the joy you bring comes with a serving of pain as well.

am i doomed?

leaving

2010-08-01T19:01:00.010+08:00

i just finished packing for a month long assignment in KL.
unlike my previous trip there, i'm looking forward to this one.
not because of the project but because it gave me a reason to go away for a while.
a much needed time off. from him.
with the hopes that when i get back, i have healed.
dear universe, please be on my side on this one.

needs

2010-07-26T17:17:00.005+08:00

I need to be somewhere far. away from him.
I need time. to pull myself together
I need to be my old self again. to not care and be free
and i need to drink because these needs are driving me mad!!

figured where july went

2010-07-24T14:02:00.012+08:00

this little boy turned 2!
and had his first haircut and then, there's....

============= B O R A C A Y =============

thanks deeaye for reminding me.
sans a few emo episodes, july was indeed a blast! no wonder it flew by so quickly!

spaced out much?

2010-07-24T04:05:00.003+08:00

i was reading a blog i loved and posted a comment. when the comment appeared, the date showed july 24.

i paused for a minute and just as i was about to adjust my pc's date settings, i realized, it REALLY is july 24!

where did july go, i wonder.

hurt

2010-07-19T14:40:00.006+08:00

the worst part is, he doesn't even know.
in a way, i'm at fault i guess. i should've known better than to trust my insticts.
but then if i am not able to do that, trust whatever my instincts tell me, then what's left?
is it better than the alternative that is cynicism and doubt?
take a chance, leap the leap otherwise you won't know. That's what evErybody says. So i did.
only to find out it was just me on the other end.

flattery or insult?

2010-07-11T15:13:00.006+08:00

Icon Bar, 5:00AM
I was with des, standing by the bar dancing to our heart's content. Adam was in the washroom. A foreigner pops in front of me, extends his hand and says hi.
Foreign guy : Hi! I'm Jayson. You are?
Me : (10 second pause) Hi! I'm Michelle.
Foreign guy : (doesn't let go of my hand and leans even closer) How are you?
Me : I'm good.
Foreign guy : wanna dance?
Me : nah, i'm tired. Thanks!
Foreign guy : Wanna go to my place?
Me : Uh, No.
Foreign guy : So, wanna go to your place then?
Me : (giving him a pat on the shoulder) Nope, try someone else

A few minutes later, as des and i were walking towards the washroom, same guy approached me and goes:

Foreign guy : Hi.
Me : You already said hi to me earlier
Foreign guy : I know, so are we going to your place?

i upped and left before he can say anything else.
flattery or insult? take your pick.

booked!

2010-06-27T15:04:00.001+08:00

boracay here i come. i've missed you!

talk about impulse vacays! hahahahhahaha!

deeaye and i are so gonna have a blast!